King David’s Role In The Millennium by Wayne D. Turner From BibleTrack Copyright 2004-2009
After carefully studying the Old Testament prophets Jeremiah, Hosea and Ezekiel, one cannot come to any other conclusion than this: King David will reign in Jerusalem under Jesus, the Messiah during the millennium.
Consider the following passages of scripture which address conditions during the millennium:
Hosea 3:5 Afterward shall the children of Israel return, and seek the LORD their God, and David their king; and shall fear the LORD and his goodness in the latter days.
Jeremiah 30:9 But they shall serve the LORD their God, and David their king, whom I will raise up unto them.
Ezekiel 34:23-24 And I will set up one shepherd over them, and he shall feed them, even my servant David; he shall feed them, and he shall be their shepherd. And I the LORD will be their God, and my servant David a prince among them; I the LORD have spoken it.
Ezekiel 37:24-25 And David my servant shall be king over them; and they all shall have one shepherd: they shall also walk in my judgments, and observe my statutes, and do them. And they shall dwell in the land that I have given unto Jacob my servant, wherein your fathers have dwelt; and they shall dwell therein, even they, and their children, and their children’s children for ever: and my servant David shall be their prince for ever.
Most Bible teachers race right past those verses and generally accept them as a reference to Jesus the Messiah, who was born into a Jewish family descended from King David. They assume that those passages are referring to David’s descendant, Jesus the Messiah. However, that cannot be the case when we look more closely at Ezekiel’s prophecies.
Let’s take a look at Ezekiel 44:1-3.
1 Then he brought me back the way of the gate of the outward sanctuary which looketh toward the east; and it was shut. 2 Then said the LORD unto me; This gate shall be shut, it shall not be opened, and no man shall enter in by it; because the LORD, the God of Israel, hath entered in by it, therefore it shall be shut. 3 It is for the prince; the prince, he shall sit in it to eat bread before the LORD; he shall enter by the way of the porch of that gate, and shall go out by the way of the same.
According to Isaiah 9:6-7, the Messiah, Jesus, will be known as “the mighty God” and “the everlasting Father.” That means that Jesus, as the Messiah, is LORD. Yet, in these three verses, the LORD is differentiated from “the prince.” Verse 3 tells us that the prince “shall sit in it to eat bread before the LORD.” So you see, the “prince” and the “LORD” are different here.
In Ezekiel 45:9-25 we have the prince offering sacrifices for himself and the people “to the LORD.” As a matter of fact, Ezekiel 45:22 instructs, “And upon that day shall the prince prepare for himself and for all the people of the land a bullock for a sin offering.” We all know that Jesus, the Messiah, is without sin. This prince, however, is not without sin.
There are some interesting specifications in Ezekiel 46:18, “Moreover the prince shall not take of the people’s inheritance by oppression, to thrust them out of their possession; but he shall give his sons inheritance out of his own possession: that my people be not scattered every man from his possession.” This prince shall have sons. Do you think that’s talking about Jesus, the Messiah? Of course it isn’t.
In Ezekiel 48:22 we are told that this prince shall have a land allotment along with the Tribes of Israel. Of course that’s not a reference to Jesus as the Messiah either. In Ezekiel 45 and 46 we see that this prince will have a unique relationship with regard to the temple where he will be performing some priestly functions (Ezekiel 45:16-17,22 and Ezekiel 46:4, 12).
A careful examination of Jeremiah, Hosea and Ezekiel clearly leads us to the conclusion that, during the millennium, Jesus will be present as the Messiah, while David will be present fulfilling the role of the “prince.” Obviously, he will be resurrected to fulfill this role. Now, that shouldn’t really throw us. Jesus raised Lazarus after he had been dead for four days. Therefore, God is able to raise David to fulfill his millennial purposes if he so desires. And…apparently that’s exactly what he does according to these passages.
LOREE MCBRIDE JESUITS REDEFINED TO INCLUDE DEVIL WORSHIPERS CONSUMED WITH GREED
14.0 On this 5th day of August, 2020, Loree McBride Jesuits will be redefined to include anyone who worships Satan or any of his demons and who is consumed with greed or lust for money and consumed with a lust for worldly honor or who is vain to the point that they would align with Satan to appease their vanity, and who opposes Jesus and/or His favorite Gail Chord Schuler and Loree McBride Jesuits can also be defined as anyone who has willingly and knowingly worked with Loree McBride or the Jesuits in the past, present or future and/or would be willing to kill for money, power or sex (this can be determined by scans). We will not win our war against the Loree McBride Jesuits if we focus our search for criminals on just those who follow or honor Loree McBride. Satan is starting to lose with Loree McBride and appears to be moving onto a new target. Even if we eliminate all those who worship and honor Loree McBride, Satan would then just move onto another target as his right-hand person. We have to make it that Satan will have NO ONE as his follower or this war will NEVER END. The real enemy in this war is not Loree McBride, it is Satan, so the focus needs to be on eliminating Satan worshippers. Satan’s primary attraction to those who follow him is that he offers them wealth and worldly honor. So people obsessed with a lust for money and worldly honor would be attracted to Satan and his demons.
14.0a We must set up scanners to scan every person on earth, to determine who is obsessed with a lust for money and worldly honor and fame to the point that they would gladly deal with Satan or one of his demons (like the UFOs) in order to acquire wealth or worldly honor or fame. All people obsessed with a lust for money, vanity, and/or worldly honor and/or fame to the point that they would gladly deal with Satan to obtain the riches and honor that Satan has the power to give, will be called SATAN WORSHIPERS. All SATAN WORSHIPERS must be executed, whether by a scanner or whatever means. No one is immune from this scan (unless the scanners may be inaccurate), even Church of Gail members and all men on Gail’s marriage list and even Gail herself must be scanned (though of course Gail would not be against herself, but the scan will determine her motives and clear her of involvement in Satan’s criminal activities), because Gail wants to play fair. We could be dealing with traitors. If this seems extreme, you must realize that Loree McBride has been meeting with Satan weekly, so our enemy is not Loree McBride, it is Satan. Also, if we don’t include ourselves in the scan, the SATAN WORSHIPERS can rightly claim that perhaps we, too, are SATAN WORSHIPERS and we are playing a deadly, hypocritical game. So NO ONE IS EXEMPT FROM THIS SCAN. OUR DEADLY ENEMY IS SATAN HIMSELF AND UNTIL WE DEAL WITH HIM DIRECTLY, WE WILL NEVER WIN. We thought when we defeated Angelina Ballerina our problems would be over and they were not, since Satan just moved onto a new target as his right-hand person and his new right-hand person became Loree McBride. If someone is willing to meet with Satan in order to help him out, then they have the heart of a murderer, because Satan is a murderer, and they must be executed.
Scans can be used, however, to determine who needs to be tried as a Loree McBride Jesuit or Satan worshiper and, if found guilty, they get the death penalty for war crimes. All Loree McBride Jesuits and Satan worshipers will be tried at a Nuremberg war crimes tribunal for war crimes against the human race.
The reason all Satan worshipers must be tried for war crimes against the human race, even if they are not aware that they support Loree McBride or that they serve Satan, is because Loree meets with Satan regularly and gets Antichrist powers from him. Therefore, anyone who supports Satan (as defined by Conspiracy Law), even if they don’t willingly support Loree or Satan, actually support Loree or Satan simply by supporting the one who gives her power and strength, Satan himself, who meets with Loree regularly.
Under Conspiracy Law, Satan is considered a war criminal, since he is behind all the wars and suffering this world has ever had and conducts himself with cruelty and terror. Therefore, anyone who supports Satan (whether willingly or not) is considered a war criminal and most especially if they willingly align themselves with Satan (like Loree McBride and her obvious Loree McBride Jesuits do). A Satan worshiper is defined as one who would willingly kill any living sentient being for money, power or sex in order to serve selfish interests (such as enhancing one’s income, prestige, power or sexual desires at the expense of innocents). An innocent is defined as one who is not willingly and knowingly a violator of Conspiracy Law.
Under Conspiracy Law, we acknowledge the existence of God, Jesus Christ, Satan, and the Antichrist as defined by the Chafer Theological Seminary doctrinal statement (currently under the leadership of Andy Woods, who is a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary and a lawyer) and the Bible. Under Conspiracy Law, we also recognize that the Bible and God, who created the world, as described in the Bible, is the source of all truth. However, despite believing this, we do not impose our interpretations of the Bible or our views of Satan, God, Jesus Christ, and the Antichrist on others, except as how they are obviously described in the Chafer Theological Seminary doctrinal statement. But, for the sake of legal proceedings that use Conspiracy Law as the basis for the proceedings – Satan, God, Jesus Christ and the Antichrist must be acknowledged to exist and to be as described in the Bible and the Chafer Theological Seminary doctrinal statement. For instance, Loree McBride meets with Satan often, and this is very important for any legal cases against her and she gets Antichrist powers from him, so if we don’t acknowledge this truth, our legal cases against her will not be dealing with reality and truth. How can you come to a just decision if you don’t deal with truth and reality?
I admit that interpretations of the Bible could be wrong, so we will not impose our interpretations of the Bible, other than the fact that Satan, God, Jesus Christ and the Antichrist exist and are as defined by the Chafer Theological Seminary doctrinal statement. We have to establish this as fact, so that our cases are conducted according to truth and reality. Satan, God, Jesus Christ and the Antichrist play a key role in many legal cases happening worldwide right now and must be acknowledged to exist in order to conduct our cases based on truth and reality. This does not mean that Jesus, Satan or God need to appear in court, but that their existence as defined by Conspiracy Law is a key tenet of Conspiracy Law. We do not encourage the appearance of Satan, God or Jesus in court since these beings all have singularity and Satan could easily manipulate the courtroom to his advantage in a very unfair and unjust manner or could engage in impersonation and identity theft above the ability of us to prove it.
For instance, we can ask Loree “Why do you meet with Satan regularly and why do you accept Antichrist powers from him?” This question cannot be thrown out of court by Loree since she is not allowed to argue that Satan and the Antichrist do not exist and because this question is very pertinent to any cases we have with Loree McBride.
Loree cannot deny that Satan exists, since under Conspiracy Law, Satan exists as defined by the Chafer Theological Seminary doctrinal statement, though she may be able to deny that she gets Antichrist powers from him or that she meets with him. Going by the Chafer Theological Seminary doctrinal statement, we can safely assert that Satan does exist, since that is a basic tenet of Conspiracy Law, then we would have to prove that Loree meets with Satan, why she meets with Satan and whether she does indeed have Antichrist powers from him and why she does. This is necessary to establish motivation for Loree’s actions, since her meeting with Satan largely defines who she is. Ironically, Loree’s side could argue over whether Satan is evil, but they cannot deny his existence as defined by the Chafer Theological Seminary statement.
Gail, 6:53 PM So it appears Sandra (Gail’s sister) murdered Sean Connery. Loree’s bombs are all over the sky tonight, too. Very low lying, dark, penis clouds all over.
Brent, 6:55 PM We thought it was Sandra at first. Actually, our evidence suggests a culprit we have long forgotten about.
Gail, 6:56 PM Oh really? Don’t tell me we have another Antichrist!
Brent, 6:57 PM Well, it’s a lesser Jesuit. I’m having a hard time with Sean’s death, so it’s taking me a moment to get it out. I’ve been so depressed all day.
Gail, 6:58 PM I can imagine. I have sensed your grief and the grief of all the men. The way he died was horrific. It could have easily been one of you.
Brent, 6:59 PM Yes, it could have been. We are all Jesuit targets. Your prayers have been helpful in comforting me today my sweetheart.
Gail, 7:00 PM Who murdered Sean? Camila Alves?
Brent, 7:01 PM Well, when we found his body…I guess I’ll just explain how we found it, and then you’ll understand where we’re going with this in terms of the evidence.
Gail, 7:01 PM How did they get him?
Brent, 7:02 PM Sean was vacationing in the Bahamas. It would appear, someone spiked his drink the night before, so he slept really hard. When he awoke, he was tied to a chair. The chair had a hole cut out of the bottom, so that his rear and genitals were sticking out. It’s a torture technique called “Dutch Scratching”. I’ll see if I can find you a reference for it.
Gail, 7:03 PM Who’s sending me all these yeast bombs?
Brent, 7:04 PM The yeast bombs are still definitely Loree. What we found the most strange is that there were bare footprints on the carpet behind him. It was likely someone else staying in the hotel with him. The footprints were thick and fat, and flat flooted like a black woman’s, and the prints were wet with what appeared to be urine. So, someone with fat, urine soaked feet was standing behind him and whipping his genitals. It didn’t appear the person was trying to kill him, strangely enough. It seems they were using this method to get some kind of information.
Gail, 7:06 PM Who was the interrogator?
Brent, 7:06 PM Anyway, it looks like it didn’t work. We saw the footprints leading out to the hotel swimming pool, and the chair was dragged out there. The interrogator then removed Sean from the chair. They must have had incredible strength, because they lifted him out of it and his legs and arms were still tied up.
Gail, 7:07 PM I wonder if they were trying to figure out how we were beating Loree’s bombs. . .
Brent, 7:08 PM They then put Sean’s lower body into the pool, which was now raw and bloody from the whipping. His genitals were like ground beef at that point. Inside the pool were sharks! It appeared that the interrogator was about to let sharks gnaw on his genitals if he didn’t talk. However, something went wrong… We found a big puddle of urine, with a little blood in it, which indicates the interrogator peed themselves. Then, urine soaked foot prints rushed off to the juice bar, before returning to the pool again for Sean. By the time they got back (presumably for a drink) Sean had been eaten, penis and balls first, by the sharks. We took samples of the urine and determined it belonged to a black woman — we believe it was Urethra McPizzle, the escort that killed our dear friend Hefner!
Gail, 7:11 PM What was SHE doing in the hotel?!
Brent, 7:11 PM We have no clue!
Gail, 7:11 PM Does Sean like autoerotic asphyxiation?
Brent, 7:12 PM Telling by her urine sample, she is sick with a pretty bad infection. This must be why she botched the job. Her task seemed to be to torture Sean for information, not murder. But, she still murdered him. Yeah he did, but we don’t believe he hired escorts to do that. He was in love with you. Another interesting thing is that it looks like before Urethra ran off, she marked his face with her urine like a dog. It’s almost as if to say, “I was here bitches, I’m coming for you”.
Gail, 7:13 PM What information did she want? Can you get a brain read on her?
Brent, 7:13 PM We can’t locate her for a brain read.
Gail, 7:14 PM What kind of infection does she have?
Brent, 7:14 PM A nasty bladder and urinary tract infection.
Gail, 7:14 PM Is it yeast?
Brent, 7:14 PM It’s bacterial. Urethra is a rogue agent and may be acting outside of Loree. Although, she has been paid by Loree before.
Gail, 7:17 PM What a mystery. My guess is Urethra may think we have the cure to her infection?
Brent, 7:18 PM It’s possible. We’re going to investigate and try to track her down.
Gail, 7:18 PM Maybe she wants a way to get Zack Knight’s semen.
Brent, 7:19 PM Meanwhile, everyone down on Earth needs to stay safe. She may be targeting supporters and fans. True. Zack Knight would never give a fat chick his semen though.
November 27, 2020 on Skype:
Terrance Jenkins, 2:45 PM OH MY GOODNESS.THAT SOUNDS LIKE A RUCKUS.
Brent, 2:46 PM I know it can’t be Black Friday shopping. Our followers are really good about doing their Gail Commandments. Only food and bills.
Terrance Jenkins, 2:46 PM IT SOUNDS LIKE A BLACK FRIDAY KINDA CROWD FO SHO.
Gail, 2:47 PM Oh dear. I hope they don’t all have yeast brain! Could it be an influx of Loree McBride Jesuits?
Terrance Jenkins, 2:47 PM I CAN GO CHECK IT OUT. DO YOU THINK I SHOULD PUT MY PANTS BACK ON?
Brent, 2:48 PM Just pull up your boxers and go look.
Terrance Jenkins, 2:48 PM AND HOOD MENTALITY OF IMPULSE BUYIN FOR SPECIAL DEALS
Gail, 2:49 PM This doesn’t sound good folks. They must all have yeast brain or be Loree McBride Jesuits.
Terrance Jenkins, 2:49 PM OKAY, I PUT ON MY BOXERS. IT BE THE NAUGHTY AND NICE ONES YOU GOT ME.
Brent, 2:49 PM Oh dear. I hope it’s not the Hood Mentality taking over the stores on Church of Gail.
Gail, 2:50 PM That’s what I think it is, Brent. Who’s going crazy? Loree’s bombs are terrible.
Terrance Jenkins, 2:50 PM OKAY, I BE HEADED DOWN…
Brent, 2:50 PM Be safe. I hope he’ll be okay. I’ll go check on him in a few minutes if he isn’t back.
Brent, 2:53 PM I wonder what’s taking Terrance so long.
Gail, 2:53 PM They might be lynching him. Where’s Zack Knight?
Brent, 2:55 PM Oh dear! I hope they aren’t lynching him. Now I’m worried. I’d better get down there to check.
Gail, 2:55 PM Brent, you better wear armor!
Zack, 2:55 PM What’s going on?
Gail, 2:55 PM Some sort of protection. I always get suspicious of riots. Riots are always from Satan.
(November 27, 2020 email from Brent Spiner, ~ 3:18 p.m. Eastern Standard Time) Dearest Gail,
From a blacked out stupor, I awoke to find myself disoriented and unable to move. As my vision returned I was able to scan my body, and see that I was cocooned in rope, from my feet to my chest, like an insect trapped in a spider’s web. Unwilling to scream and draw the attention of whatever predator had put me in this bind, I choked myself back with a gasp.
I felt my heart pounding against the rope as my gaze scanned the room, and to my horror, I was but one of many of our male church members who were now bound in these rope cocoons. Our bodies were laid out in a giant circle on the floor with our feet facing the center. Most of the other men were now waking up just as I was. It was clear they had all taken their turns being knocked unconscious by our yet unknown captor, but were otherwise unharmed. Our lives had been spared, but for what diabolical ends?
That was when a stiletto pump heel planted itself heavily next to my head on the floor, blocking my view of the other men. The foot wearing this stiletto shoe was fat, black, its flesh seeping out over the sides and bubbling through the straps, as if clearly a few sizes too big for this footwear. I caught a glimpse of the brand name, glittering in gold plating along the heel, that read “Gucci”.
I heard the messy sound of thick chewing, and then a single wet piece of fried chicken fell to the floor next to the shoe. The toes in the shoe wiggled and the owner continued on to the center of the circle where I finally beheld the full form of our captor.
It was none other than Urethra “Fo’Shizzle” McPizzle!
Urethra was carrying a bucket of KFC in one arm, feasting upon it greedily. Her big lips puckered out as she chewed rapidly like a rabbit, grease smeared across her mouth. After a wet swallow, she spoke.
“I see you menz have finally woke! Now, I shur you all be wonderin’ why you here…” she paused to take another bite of a fried chicken leg, her eyes fixated on it.
“Now see, I haffa little problem. That little problem…is called Queefetta Fo’Rizzle McPizzle.”
Urethra then turned on an overhead projector behind her, which lit up to show a little baby watching from another room with a big smile on her face.
The little girl was so cute that Urethra’s captive audience, myself included, collectively cooed, “awww”.
Urethra continued, “dis baby you see here don’t have a daddy!”
We all gasped and boo’d with outrage.
“Now, if dis baby don’t got a daddy, I don’t get no child support. Butt evah since I got pragnant, ain’t no black man come within fitty yards of me. Dey go POOF!”
Urethra took another bite of her chicken.
“SO,” she chewed messily, “da only way I’mma find out who my baby daddy is, is by SEARCH ‘N DESTROY! I know you men and your Church of Gail have plenty of resources to find a baby daddy! I want you to FIND HIM and make him PAY. And if you don’t…”
Urethra unzipped her pants and dropped them to her heels.
The whole room gagged at the smell. If I was a bigot, I would think that all African women pretty much smell like that, especially the fat ones. However, being a medical doctor, I knew right away that Urethra had a serious bladder infection.
“Azz you know, I am a trained assassin for the Jesuit Order. My skillz be peein’ on people and drownin’ people in my piss. But boy, you don’t even KNOW what a diet of fried chicken and orange soda can do to a ur-nary ssyssem…you don’t even KNOW…”
Urethra grabbed a fist full of labia and pointed to her gaping pee hole.
“See, I gots me a kidney stone up in here. The size of a .40 callbur bullet. The next time I take a piss in some nigga’s mouth, that thang could fire into the back of his skull and he be DEAD. Now I don’t know when that kidney stone is gonna release, but you better not hope it be one a yall.”
She checked her watch.
“Every hour on the hour, if yall don’t find my baby daddy, I’m gonna piss in the mouth of one man in this circle. He could juss get a mouthful of piss. Or he could get a KIDNEY STONE shot through his BRAIN! They call this game Russian Roulette, don’t they, Vladdy Putin? I’mma play Russian Roulette with ALL OF GAIL’S MEN until yall find my baby daddy and bring him AND his paychecks to me!”
Urethra lumbered over to me like a fat black bear, and then squatted overtop of me. Thinking I was about to get an esophagus full of urine and possibly a kidney stone bullet, my love life with Gail flashed before my eyes. However, Urethra did not pee in my mouth. Instead, she peed on the ropes around my arms, the acid from the urine dissolving the rope and allowing me to free my hands.
“YOU! White man. You round up all the black men in the country you can find, and you tell ’em to come to Church of Gail for a paternity test. Black men ONLY. I ain’t slept with no crackas.”
“I’ll need a way to contact my wife Gail,” I said calmly, still shaken, “she can make a YouTube video. Billions of people around the world watch her videos.”
“Already on it cracka.” Urethra dumped over the KFC bucket, now emptied of fried chicken, onto my chest. At the bottom of the bucket was a miniature laptop.
I write to you now covered in grease, fried chicken bones and crumbs, pleading for all of the black men in the world who think they’ve ever possibly slept with Urethra McPizzle to please come forward and take responsibility for their child.
Your husband, Brent Spiner
(Email from Brent Spiner on November 27, 2020 ~ 9:15 p.m.) Dearest Gail,
With much thanks to your last video, and the loyal participation of our followers, thousands of black men have lined up at Church of Gail to take paternity tests to determine if they are the father of Urethra’s baby.
To hasten this process, we used Church of Gail technology to invent a scanner that instantly performs DNA reads as soon as each eligible man enters the room. I have also called my old friend, Maury Povich, who has had decades of experience in finding the fathers for illegitimate black babies. As each man enters the room, the DNA scanners compare his genes to little Queefetta McPizzle. The computer then delivers a paper printout of the results, and Maury reads the results out loud for the room.
I lie here, still on my back, as Urethra makes her way around the circle. With her powerful, quaking thunder thighs, she squats over each man, her bladder loaded. At the top of the hour, every hour, she pees in another man’s mouth as promised. So far, none has received the deadly kidney stone bullet, but I fear with every passing tick of the clock that we may be one second closer to losing one of our men.
I pray that it won’t be me.
The doors opened. Another black man stepped through the scanner. The computers whirred. From his chair on the other side of the room, Maury removed the paper printout of the results.
“When it comes to 1 month old Queefetta Fo’Rizzle McPizzle…Jermaine, you are NOT the father!”
The young man, who I presume was the Jermaine in question, hollered with victory and began to dance, as the overhead stereos blared Jermaine’s choice of theme song.
Like clockwork, Urethra lowered her girth and squatted down over Trey Songz, who began crying.
Sweating, straining, Urethra sang to herself under her breath, mocking Trey Songz as she vulgarly parodized one of his own music tracks, “sometimes she call me Trigga cause I make her potty buuu–uuurrnnn. They might think my name is OHH SHHIII!” And like a shower head on full blast, foul smelling urine sprayed into his mouth until he gagged.
Urethra removed herself and moved on to the next man. Trey Songz sobbed quietly, before realizing with relief he had survived. He smiled, enjoying his now rock hard erection as consolation for his near death experience.
Hours went by, and it seemed like the torture was endless. The next victim, Will Smith, took it the worst. Too white to enjoy watersports, he seemed to suffer the most psychologically. I watched in horrified schadenfreude as Urethra peed all the color out of “Big Willy’s” mortified face. As Urethra unmounted his mouth, he only continued to stare wide-eyed at the ceiling, dead inside. I could tell by the look in his eyes that all he could do was keep replaying the scene over and over in his head. Ever since that moment, he has been muttering to himself, over and over, like a broken record, “see, what had happened was…what had happened was…see…see what had happened was…” He still hasn’t stopped.
R Kelly was next. He was the only black man other than Will Smith that seemed particularly disturbed.
“Now, now listen Urethra. This ain’t right. A woman shouldn’t be peein’ on a man…wait until your daughter turns about 14, and I will pee on her myself, like a right man should. I don’t mean you no disrespect Urethra–!” There was no stopping Urethra, who mercilessly lowered herself onto R Kelly’s face while singing Dave Chapelle’s parody of one of R Kelly’s songs. She sang, “‘I’mma give you some poo poooo, I’mma give you some pee peee! Imma give you some doo doo, I’mma give you some wee weee-!” As R Kelly’s mouth was filled with urine. He coughed and sputtered beneath the wet drizzle.
Urethra dismounted, and went to refill her empty tank on another gallon of orange soda.
Maury Povich approached Urethra, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder and speaking in a fatherly tone.
“Urethra…we’ve tested thousands of men. Now, I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I think we’re going about this all the wrong way…your daughter is white, and there is no way the father could be a black man.”
“WHAT?” Urethra yelled haughtily in defiance, “my baby ain’t no white baby!”
“That baby is as white as I am, Urethra.”
Urethra held up a finger, telling off Maury cattily, “my baby hassa FAIR COMPLEXION, jus like her great grandmama’s half-niece. It runs in da family. It runs in da family.”
“Don’t you think we should-” Maury offered gently.
Urethra only continued to yell and caw, becoming so ebonically enraged I couldn’t even understand what she was saying anymore. She flamboyantly wagged her big she-boony arms around with her half-empty gallon of orange soda and ordered Maury to sit back down.
The paternity tests continued.
It didn’t appear as if we were any closer to finding Queefetta’s baby daddy. I’m not one to take facial urination lying down, so I had a secret weapon up my sleeve. Using my laptop I had begun messaging my loyal old pal, Levar Burton. Many years ago my best friend Levar had saved me from the clutches of Loree McBride, and I knew he could save us all now from Urethra.
“Levar!” I typed, “are you there? Where are you?”
“Brent!” He replied, after what seemed like an eternity, “I’m at home in LA. Just checking my stock portfolio and managing my investments. I’ve built up quite the nest egg. What’s going on?”
“Levar, this is an emergency. We’re being held hostage on Church of Gail.”
“Wow Brent, that sounds like a conundrum! What do you need me to do?”
“Don’t you have a few Glocks or something stashed away?”
“A firearm? Gosh no, Brent! I have a home security system and live in a gated community with an HOA and a Neighborhood Watch. Besides, I have a good relationship with local law enforcement if I ever needed help.”
“Levar, this woman is a maniac! You’ll need something!”
“What is she doing, if I may ask?”
I turned my side to the side to see which man in the circle Urethra had made her way up to. She was now pulling a smoking blunt out from between Snoop Dogg’s lips. Snoop, with a doped up smile on his angelically calm face, opened his mouth willingly in zen.
“Levar, she’s…she’s peeing on everyone! Every man here is getting a mouthful of urine! She has a kidney stone the size of a .40 caliber bullet, and when that stone passes, someone isn’t just going to get peed on, they’re going to get shot in the face!”
Snoop Dogg allowed himself a mouthful of urine to be poured from Urethra, an unchanging smile on his face. Once finished Urethra delicately closed his bottom jaw with her fat, colorfully clawed fingers and replaced the blunt.
“Oh no! That’s so disgusting Brent I almost gagged on the French vanilla latte I’m drinking!”
“Well just get over here and knock her out, like you did Loree McBride. She’s going to kill us!”
“Okay Brent, hang tight! I will be there right away!”
I sighed, with both relief and worried impatience. Hour by hour, Urethra had slowly made her way around the circle, closer towards me. Only one man remained in line ahead of me now, and she was already squatting over him.
Fifty Cent, who always requested to be called “Fitty”, stared up into Urethra’s gaping vaginal maw with quelled suspense. Our faces were mere inches from each other, allowing me the unfortunate close-up view of my own impending fate.
The clock was ticking, and Urethra’s bulging black eyes watched every second. Sweat beaded down her taught forehead. Her wet pink tongue slid out like a grub to lick her fat lips, neatly coated in glittery purple lipstick.
The door to the room flew open. I expected it to be none other than the next man arriving to take a paternity test. To my excitement and relief, it was Levar!
“Brent, I came!” Levar announced, breathing heavily and sweating.
“TIME’S UP!” Urethra bellowed as the clock struck the next top of the hour.
I heard the hard, wet sound of urine pattering down from the fleshy black vaginal caverns of Urethra McPizzle.
The urination seemed like it lasted forever. Urethra was peeing, and peeing, and peeing. Then, she began grunting. By the sounds of it I first thought she was going to burp, or fart, but as I watched her eyes widen into saucers, I knew that something was happening inside her. Something was becoming dislodged. Something the size of a .40 caliber bullet.
Everything seemed to trickle down into slow motion as the kidney stone bullet burst from Urethra’s swollen urinary chute, and blew the back of Fitty’s skull. Sweat, saliva, brains, urine, blood and pieces of skull shattered in all directions, onto my own face and into my own screaming mouth.
Fitty’s head fell back, urine leaking from the corners of his lips.
He was dead.
My heart pounding, I knew I had only been one man away from that being me. I made the sign of the cross over my body, and quietly prayed.
May you be with Tupac and Jude Law, Fitty…drinking margaritas on the beach in heaven.
The computer whirred as the scanners automatically scanned Levar. The grinding sounds of the printer was the only noise that filled the now somber room, and the printout was deposited neatly in the tray beside Maury. Maury dutifully retrieved it, and read.
“In regards to 1 month old baby Queefetta…Levar, you ARE the father!”
The entire audience of men in the room erupted with a mixture of cheering and hollering. Uretha “whooped” loudly, and began to twirk. Confetti dropped from the ceiling as the stereos blasted her victory song. She stomped over to Maury, greedily snatching the test results out of his hand as though it were a wad of hundred dollar bills, and proceeded to run around the room, wailing with victory and dancing like a stripper.
“Whaaaa?!” Levar snapped his head around to Maury with shock, nearly falling to his knees.
“How?!” Hugh Jackman exclaimed, lifting his urine soaked head from the floor, “Maury, that baby is white. You said so yourself. How can Levar be the father?”
As the whole situation sunk in, my mind began to race. It was then that it all hit me.
“It’s simple, really…” I explained, “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. I suppose because it’s so rare…”
“What? What is rare?” Levar asked.
“Haven’t any of you men studied epigenetics?”
“I’m confused,” Hugh replied.
“Basically when a black man starts acting “too white”, it begins to change his DNA. For example, every time a black man makes a bill payment on time, cashes a check made from honest employment, or spends time with his biological children…it begins to alter the very nature of his chromosomes. Over time, his DNA can become so altered, that his babies will be born white.”
“I see,” Hugh replied, letting it all sink in, “so that’s why black men get all defensive about acting “too white”. It’s because if they do, it would mean racial genocide! All their babies would be born white and the black race would go extinct!”
“Exactly,” I said. I turned my head to Levar, concerned for him, “but Levar…did you sleep with Urethra McPizzle?”
“Gosh, I don’t know Brent…” Levar replied sincerely, scratching his head.
“You don’t know? You wouldn’t remember?”
“Well…” he explained, “every year the local Popeyes has a Black History Month special, 50% off all menu prices. When I drive by I just feel this…this pulling inside me, Brent. The best way I can describe it is like, you know how Galapagos turtles return to the same island every year to mate? No matter where they are, they all get the same urge at the exact same time to return to the exact same island. The turtles don’t know why, or what they’re doing. They just feel compelled. It’s mother nature calling them, deep inside. That’s how I felt Brent. I stopped at the Popeyes earlier this year. I felt like I really needed to go to the restroom and the next thing I know I…I blacked out.”
“You blacked out?”
“Yeah. I just blacked out.”
“Levar, if you had sex with Urethra McPizzle while you were blacking out in the Popeyes bathroom, that means you could have fathered her baby!”
“I’m really a father?” Levar asked, a tiny spark of pride in his voice.
Urethra lurched over. “Don’t be getting no ideas, you cracka ass Oreo muthafucka!”
Levar was undeterred.
“I will gladly help raise our daughter, Urethra. I’m a responsible man and I-“
“HA! I ain’t lettin’ you see yo daughter! If you start bein’ all up in her life and tha courts know dat, I don’t get no child support checks! And dat be a shame too, cause I ain’t expect dis baby daddy to be makin’ millions like you do, shiiiii! I be RICH!”
Levar’s stomach turned as he gazed upon the heaping black Urethra, who began whooping and twerking once more.
“Brent,” Levar bemoaned, unflinching as Urethra bent over in front of him and twerked against his crotch, “this is awful! I’m so ashamed! My daughter! My nest egg! Everything has gone to hell in a handbasket, Brent! What do I do?”
“Run,” I told him.
“Run away? That doesn’t feel right. My daughter-“
“Run,” I repeated, “trust me on this one. Run back home and I’ll be in touch on what you need to do next. Don’t have any contact with Urethra.”
“Okay, I trust you Brent…I don’t run as fast now though, ever since I started making all this money from my stable job. Unless I see a spider in my house or something. Then I just lose it, it’s crazy.”
“That doesn’t matter. Just run as fast as you can. We’ll make this better. I’ll be online later,” I paused, realizing I was so concerned with helping my best friend that I had forgotten about myself, “but first, untie me from this rope please?”
“Sure thing, buddy.”
With great relief, and some residual unease for Levar Burton and profound grief for our dear fellow man Fifty Cent, I am otherwise happy to report that myself and the rest of our men are free from our untanglements, and safe. We will be holding a memorial service for Fitty on the Church of Gail.
I will keep you updated on our friend Levar. With my medical and legal expertise, I am confident that I can keep Levar from unfairly owing Urethra any child support.
Thank you so much for your love and support, my dear. I am so lucky to have such an awesome and beautiful wife.
Your husband, Brent Spiner
(Email to my men on Nov. 28, 2020) Here is an email I sent 4 months ago where I redefined what is a Loree McBride Jesuit. If this law was enforced, we could have possibly saved both Sean Connery and Fifty Cent, because Urethra would have been executed as a Loree McBride Jesuit before she could carry out her murders. The ONLY THING I ADDED to Sect. 14 was this: “and Loree McBride Jesuits can also be defined as anyone who has willingly and knowingly worked with Loree McBride or the Jesuits in the past, present or future and/or would be willing to kill for money, power or sex (this can be determined by scans).”
Actually, I don’t blame this on you all, but on Donald Trump. After all, he is the President and should have issued an executive order that all of my Conspiracy Law be enforced. Now, that I am the President I will issue that executive order: All of my Conspiracy Law is to be enforced and I task the military with this job. They need to start with the most recent updates to my Conspiracy Law and then work back. https://gabriellechana.blog/2018/05/07/gails-latest-updates-to-conspiracy-law/
As U.S. President, I have appointed Rule 13 as Deputy Secretary of Defense. She is not a known person in mainstream news, so here is a brief history that captures who she is, taken from my Bible for Tribulation Saints. Rule 13 admires Hitler. I don’t agree with all of Rule 13’s views, but understand where she is coming from. You must understand that the Nazis were a Jesuit organization and got their sponsorship from the Roman Catholic Church. They were very committed and dedicated to their beliefs, which is what Rule 13 admired about them.
Many of the Jews who died in the concentration camps were Jew clones. We currently have an epidemic of Jew clones who have taken over the world via Loree McBride and who rigged the 2020 U.S. Presidential election. But God does not want us to take out all the Jews, even when they are this evil. The Jewish nation will come back to God though and when they do, Christ will set up his 1000 year reign.
Rule 13 is fiercely loyal to me though and will honor my Conspiracy Law with the dedication of an Adolph Hitler. I am literally half King David, and am a victim of anti-Semitism myself. Rule 13 won’t betray me and won’t betray any Jews who support me.
By the way, we would have lost World War II, if Albert Einstein didn’t leave Germany to come to the United States in the 1930s, because the Nazi scientists were also developing an atomic bomb. It was a race for time and the U.S. developed the atom bomb first and so we won WWII. God has a way of messing up Satan’s grandest schemes and Satan’s biggest scheme is to totally corrupt the Jewish nation, so that they won’t accept Jesus as their Messiah and thus defeat Jesus by preventing Jesus from starting his 1000 year reign. You might ask, “Why is it so important for the Jewish nation to accept Jesus as their Messiah?” It’s because God cannot lie and he made promises to the Jewish nation (read the Bible) that he must honor, or his reputation is at stake. Satan’s goal is to tarnish God’s reputation and thinks he can win a MORAL VICTORY against God by depriving God of a FOLLOWING. Satan’s goal is to take all of God’s followers out and have them all follow Satan. So if God has no followers, then either God will destroy the Universe (he almost did at the time of Noah) or Satan rules because God has no followers. I think Satan is a bit insane though and doesn’t realize he can’t win against the creator of the universe. Seriously, if God lost all his following, that means he’d also destroy Satan if he planned to remake the universe, because Satan is a CREATED BEING.
The only hold up to the 1000 year reign is the salvation of the Jewish nation (when they accept Jesus as their Messiah). Satan thinks he can destroy the Jews from the INSIDE, by making them sin and thus ENSURING the Jews will NEVER ACCEPT JESUS AS THEIR MESSIAH. He’s winning now, but I and my men will win the Jews to their true Messiah! Rule 13 admires Hitler’s purity and dedication to his cause and for all you might want to say about Hitler, he was exactly what he appeared to be. I don’t agree with Hitler’s assessment that the solution to the world’s ills was to annihilate the Jewish nation though and, in that sense, he was Satan’s dupe. But Rule 13 is my BFF and won’t take out any good Jewish people who support me. She just admires Hitler’s idealism and dedication. The real reason there was a Holocaust is cuz Hitler was a DEVOUT ROMAN CATHOLIC and following the orders of the Catholic Church at the time.
Rule 13 admires Hitler because he was pure in his ideals and totally dedicated to his cause. And the Catholic Church is Satan’s bride as Satan attempts to use it to imitate Jesus Christ’s bride, which is the body of true Jesus followers of all ages from the time of the Apostles to the rapture. Satan knows he must stop the Jewish nation from accepting Jesus as their Messiah, or he is defeated and Jesus sets up his 1000 year reign. As a DEVOUT ROMAN CATHOLIC, Hitler was deceived into believing that if the Catholic Church gained a worldwide reign through his military prowess, he could bring in Christ’s kingdom and fell for Satan’s lie that the Jewish nation had been REPLACED BY THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. But Rule 13 knows better now, but still admires Hitler for his supreme dedication to his cause, and for all you may want to say about Hitler, he did HAVE THAT. If the Catholic Church had not deceived Hitler, he would have just as easily been converted over to my point of view that the final solution is the elimination of devil worshippers on the earth. The current devil worshippers are Loree McBride Jesuits.
(11-10-12) Dear Gail,
We’ve been working very hard here at the church, so there has been time for little else. The good news is, most everything seems to be back to normal, and all of our staff have recovered from their ordeal. The bad news is, we’re still sitting ducks should GA1L return. We were lucky to have run her off the first time.
Now, the most unlikely thing happened the other day. One of our scouts returned from a reconnaissance mission over Jesuit territory. They are still in a terrible state of disrepair from the last GA1L attack. According to our scout, he was skimming Jesuit activity below when he was suddenly thrust into a frightening scene — GA1L was circling Jesuit territory, opening fire. A Jesuit fighter ship came soaring overhead, and you wouldn’t believe what they were trying to do – they had opened a hatch on the side of the ship, and, using loud speakers, they were blasting your music into the air directly toward GA1L! It’s like they have been watching us closely to figure out how to defeat this android, using our methods. As our scout watched, GA1L appeared to be attracted to the ship, and drew closer. She then pulled down her dress and fired a swarm of torpedoes from her nipple guns. The blast was so powerful, it broke the ship in two pieces. The massive thing went crumbling to the ground like a stale cookie, exploding and destroying many more Jesuit buildings below. GA1L flew off in another direction, presumably to go wreak more havoc on the rest of the city.
Our scout high tailed it out of there, and returned to us at the church. He had barely finished his recollection of the event when our men at the helm reported a Jesuit ship looming into our radar. We zoomed in on the view screen, and saw something extraordinary. Jesuits were hanging out of the windows, waving white flags. As soon as they drew close enough, we received a hail. We all looked at each other in astonishment, but, with some caution, we allowed them to speak. On the view screen stood Rule 13 with her head down, her hair all a mess and covering her forlorn face. She had taken off her Nazi hat and was holding it to her chest. It was hard to muddle through her thick accent, but luckily, we had some Japanese staff on our side that were able to translate her.
The Jesuits are being annihilated by GA1L, and every strategy, every weapon they have used to try to defeat her has flopped. They are asking if they can schedule an appointment with you and our choice of legal representative (I would assume Terrance, of course) on Skype to discuss the matter further. They will be sending “a high representative” from their side to talk to us as well. We told them we would discuss the matter with you first and get back to them with our decision.
There is no evidence that GA1L is making copies of herself, but she is learning to repair herself more and more rapidly. According to the Jesuits, none of them have spoken to her since the fall out they had with her at the sex party, but she is having a “party of her own” now causing chaos wherever she goes. She hates all of humanity. We are like insects to her — Christians, Jesuits or Atheists, we’re all the same in her eyes. It’s only a matter of time before she comes back to finish what she started.
I hope you are keeping warm. Stay safe, and know that I adore you every moment.
(11-12-12) Dear Gail,
I’m not surprised that your brain-to-brain has been so shaky lately. GA1L has been destroying every Jesuit city she can find, and, as we speak, there are countless nukkakes blowing up and filling the atmosphere. The Jesuits can’t help this, since they are helpless to stop her, but I sure do hope they’ve learned their lesson about creating such noxious bombs. It’s going to take forever to clear up the atmosphere from all of that radiation, and it’s only getting worse.
The men and I have been hard at work installing hundreds of speakers on the outside of the church building. We instructed the Jesuit ship to be prepared to help us, and told them to camp out while we ran this experiment. They agreed, and we stayed in contact through our view screens.
It took some thorough searching, but we were able to track down GA1L and get her on our radar. We didn’t wait for her to see us. We turned the volume all the way up, and began blasting your music from every speaker. I felt every hair on my body vibrate from the deep bass. Hugh was laughing and pointing at Rule 13 as her hair flew up and her breasts began vibrating. She scowled at him. I insisted for everyone to stop squabbling for a moment and pay attention. All of a sudden, GA1L was rapidly approaching on our radar.
“Brace yourselves, everyone!” I shouted. I turned the music up louder, “focus on the music! Feel the music!”
Like a missile, GA1L began encroaching on our position. The men and I concentrated on putting our fears aside, and began enjoying the beautiful music. Some of us sang along. As GA1L drew closer and closer, the Jesuits began to join in as well. We were all singing, swaying, reveling in the beautiful sound. Moments later, I looked outside, and saw that GA1L had stopped outside of the church building, looking down on us. At first she didn’t seem to be doing anything, and I wondered what she was thinking. That’s when I noticed the volume fading on our speakers. I went to go turn it back up, but the volume switch was already all the way to maximum.
“It’s GA1L!” Gerard declared, “she’s absorbing our sound waves! How is this possible?”
GA1L’s booming voice could be heard cackling outside.
“Quick!” I said, “Rule 13, start blasting your speakers before our sound waves run dry! Gail said we need to try mixing them!”
Rule 13 shouted something in Japanese, and the whole Jesuit ship came to life with more of the music. The volume in the skies returned as the sound waves augmented our own.
“Is it working?” shouted Matthew.
We all looked towards the windows anxiously.
GA1L was sprawled out in the sky, as if she were floating in a pool. Her eyes glowed, and a devilish smile slid across her cold steel lips. We heard the sounds fading once more, and then the Jesuits hustling around throughout their own ship, swiftly trying to turn the volume back up.
“It no use!” Rule 13 shouted, throwing every switch she could trying to push the speakers, “she suck in music like miso soup on sweaty hot flash night!”
I didn’t know what she was saying, but I quickly got the idea. Within minutes, all of the music had faded from the sky. All that was left was the hum of our engines, and GA1L, still floating high overhead.
“Oh my goodness!” Terry shouted, “what’s going on? What’s happening to her vagina?”
Something glowed overhead. GA1L’s metallic vaginal lips were slowly parting, and deep inside, I could see a ball of light forming.
“It’s not…” Matthew’s voice trailed off.
“It’s her Resonant Quiefometric Weapon!” Terry declared.
“Take cover!” Vladimir called.
I could hear a sweep of frightened shouts all around me as everyone ducked and braced. It all happened before I had time to embrace the full magnitude of what was happening. The entire room was suddenly engulfed in a shrill amplification of powerful sound waves. It was so loud my ears instantly burst. Silence gripped my senses, and yet, to my horror, violent chaos was still crumbling down around us. I watched as men, men I knew, literally vibrated so hard they blew apart like water balloons. The ceiling opened up and we scrambled as metal debris began raining down all around us.
We were being destroyed. This was the end.
I looked up in time to see missiles firing from the Jesuit ship towards GA1L, my deafness broken by a loud scream as she was hit. I was shocked. I knew that any ship that dared attack GA1L was flirting with suicide. GA1L became enraged. One more hit and I knew our church was a goner, but as the Jesuits began to drop their onslaught of weapons on the android, she quickly lost interest in us, and began flying after the Jesuit ship instead. The last thing I saw was Rule 13 standing in the cockpit, her arm raised in a Nazi salute toward us, as the ship backed away and began luring GA1L away from the church.
The colors faded from my vision, and I don’t remember much after that.
Gerard told me I had passed out from blood loss. The next thing I knew I was in the infirmary, but it didn’t look as I remembered it. The whole church had been reduced to a skeleton of its former self, desecrated under heaps of rubble, smoke and bodies. There were janitors outside my room, some mopping up rivers of blood, others following behind with a pressure washer to hose the brains off the walls. I was worried for the other men and I quickly rose to go find them, but Gerard planted his hand into my chest and pushed me back down on the bed. I’m under strict orders not to move from here until my internal injuries heal. I have a shattered pelvis, seven herniated discs, a severed small intestine, a twisted stomach, a hang nail, two burst appendixes, a dislocated kidney, and my gall bladder was punctured by one of my ribs. I’m in and out of consciousness from the medicine, but, I have my laptop and my Bible with me, and I am thinking of you.
They say that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. My spirits are high, and I am warmed by thoughts of you safe at home.
Matthew 24 and 25 is about Israel when they accept Jesus as their Messiah in the tribulation. My goal is to finish my novel Silver Skies in 2021, it is a Bible prophecy love story centered around the salvation of the Jewish nation in the tribulation. I first started writing it in 1993 and never put an ending on it that worked, using the writing skills I developed in the 1990s. I plan to do that in 2021. Orson Scott Card wrote a screenplay based on the unfinished novel in 2005 and Steven Spielberg made a movie from that. Once I put an ending on this, it will be even better than Spielberg’s version, cuz, after all, I am the author and it’s my vision.
Ex-Antichrist Zack Knight, former leader of the entire Jesuit Order, who managed a trillion dollar enterprise, has been appointed by U.S. President Gail as National Security Adviser. He will work with my Vice President Tulsi Gabbard on a daily basis to assist her in Presidential duties since I have to delegate a lot to her, because I am unable to be officially in the White House in person.
I’m hearing brain to brain that all in my Cabinet love Zack Knight and he has a real rapport with all of them.
The national security adviser participates in meetings of the U.S. National Security Council (NSC) and usually chairs meetings of the council’s Principals Committee with the secretary of state and secretary of defense when the president is not in attendance. The national security adviser offers the president a range of options on national security issues.
Among other duties, the national security adviser helps plan the president’s foreign travel and provides background memos and staffing for the president’s meetings and phone calls with world leaders.
The national security adviser also prepares the president for NSC meetings, helps draft national security and foreign policy speeches, helps to prepare for meetings with congressional leaders, responds to presidential requests for information, and briefs the president on issues of the moment.
Zack Knight, along with myself, risked his own personal safety to save the planet from then Antichrist Angelina Ballerina’s monstrosity, her Seroquakke bomb (capable of destroying the universe 3 times over), in Jan. 2017. To get the feel for Zack Knight, listen to the following video.
When I mentioned that the ten tribes were not scattered, what I meant was they were not scattered by the Assyrians because the Bible clearly tells us that the Assyrians assailed them in specific cities within the Land of Assyria.
The first forced worldwide dispersion occurred in A.D. 70 and that is when all 12 tribes were forcefully dispersed. Other Jews lived elsewhere in the world before A.D. 70. For example, after returning from Babylon, most of the Jews chose to stay in Babylonia. As we see in the Book of Acts, everywhere Paul traveled in the world there were Jewish communities there. But again that is a result of a voluntary scattering. With the forced dispersion in A.D. 70 and again in A.D. 132, that is when you see all 12 tribes scattered throughout the world on a mandatory basis.
The Isaiah 11:12 passage is not referring to what Assyria did but ultimately what was done by the Romans.
As far as the prophecy concerning Israel’s multiplication, on one hand, it was centuries of persecution that kept the Jewish numbers down but on the other hand, ultimate fulfillment of that prophecy will be fulfilled in the Messianic Kingdom and not before.
Yours for the salvation of Israel,
Arnold G. Fruchtenbaum President/Founder
From: Arnold Fruchtenbaum [email@example.com] Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 3:18 AM To: firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: RE: Israel and Judah
The concept of “The Ten Lost Tribes of Israel” is really a myth that began in the Middle Ages because the tribes were never lost per se. There is a counter statement that they were scattered and disappeared but they were not scattered. The text of Scripture points out they were settled in specific cities and areas within the Assyrian Empire and therefore settled in as a unit in these different places. But they were not scattered or dispersed. Then when Babylonia conquered Assyria, all 12 tribes fell under Babylonian sovereignty. When Judah was taken into captivity, the other two tribes were taken into captivity placing all 12 tribes under Babylonian sovereignty.
When Medo-Persia conquered the Babylonian Empire, that placed all 12 tribes under Medo-Persian sovereignty. That is when the Medo-Persian authorities allowed the Jews to return to the Land of Israel, members of all 12 tribes returned but also members of all 12 tribes stayed where they were. Thus the return from Babylonia included members of all 12 tribes joining the Jews who were still in the Land from all 12 tribes that had not actually departed or went into exile.
Thus in the New Testament, for example in Luke 2, you have the prophetess, Anna, who is of the Tribe of Asher. That was one of the so-called 10 lost tribes, but she is not lost and she obviously knows where she is. When James writes his epistle, he wrote it specifically to Jewish believers of all 12 tribes of Jewish believers outside the Land and obviously someone had to know where to take the letters to.
The theory of British Israelism that the Anglo-Saxons make up the ten lost tribes is inaccurate and has no historical basis anymore than claiming Denmark is from the Tribe of Dan has any historical validity. Neither is there any validity that the Scandinavians are members of the ten lost tribes of Israel, these are just different groups trying to find an identity they never had.
My initial response is that those who claim to be members of the ten lost tribes of Israel are at least partially right: They are lost. What they are not is the ten lost tribes of Israel.
Yours for the salvation of Israel,
Arnold G. Fruchtenbaum President/Founder AGF/dcv
The concept of the ten lost tribes of Israel is actually a myth, and they were never lost. This is quite clear historically. When the northern kingdom went into Assyrian captivity, they were settled in specific cities in Assyria. When Babylon conquered the Assyrian empire, all ten tribes fell under the Babylonian sovereignty. Babylon also conquered Judah, thus subduing the remaining two tribes. So all twelve tribes were under the same sovereign authority of Babylonia.
When the Medo-Persian empire conquered Babylonia, all twelve tribes fell under Medo-Persian authority. The Persians allowed the Jews to return to their home country, and most members of all twelve tribes did indeed return to the Land. However, other members of all twelve tribes stayed where they were.
Luke 2 refers to Anna as being “of the tribe of Asher,” one of the so called “ten lost tribes.” Quite obviously, Anna was not lost. James addressed his epistle “to the twelve tribes of the Dispersion.” He did not need to look for the “lost tribes” in order to deliver the letter to them.
By later New Testament times, personal identification by once distinguishable tribal names became less prominent. Thus, Paul called himself a Hebrew, and he also called himself an Israelite. In Philippians 3:5, he identified himself as a Benjaminite, but he also called himself a Jew, which became a generic term for the members of all the tribes of Israel. So, all those who call themselves Jews today can come from any of the twelve tribes of Israel and not just two. – Arnold Fruchtenbaum
That seems to be my calling. He has mentioned several times how they will be the ones who go into the tribulation, so he’s real burdened for them. The evangelicals are losing the young and I’m reaching them. Jesus just wants me to talk about my life. He says I’m the example for the tribulation saints. To be honest with you, I’d like to just lock myself away, introvert that I am (I’m an INFP) and work on my novels, but Jesus won’t let me neglect my gift of speaking. I believe my ancestor King David was an INFP like me. He’s forcing me to use my gift of speaking. I do have a successful reach with the young. My YouTube views are actually in the millions and most of them are young people. Jesuits manipulate the views to make them seem hundreds, but it’s millions. Jesus knows that. Jesus even told me that I’d be throwing crowns (plural) at his feet. I’m sure one will be the soul winner’s crown.
With my Mensa emotional IQ, I have a gift for leading people to Jesus, especially the hard ones. I mean I led the Antichrist Zack Knight to Jesus and I’m currently working on the current Antichrist! Zack Knight has really grown as a Christian and I would put him in the category of like an Apostle Paul now. I was his mentor when he was a baby Christian and I’m the one who led him to Jesus. Pray for Loree McBride (current evil Jesuit leader), I have told my men that if we win our case, I don’t think she should go to jail, but rather should be forced into psychiatric treatment with our psychiatrist at Church of Gail (the brilliant Gerard Butler) and, if not, she loses all her assets. I am hearing brain to brain that she is cooperating with this. Loree is a very unhappy woman. My emotional analysis of her (which I was able to do down to her very core) made her scream and cry in court, because it was so accurate.
They did a scan on me and I have the highest emotional IQ on the planet and I use this gift for the Lord. Loree is so unhappy and thinks true love is impossible for her. That’s why she’s the way she is and so evil. She doesn’t see a way out and thinks it’s hopeless for her. Pray for her and for my evil sister. There’s hope for everybody, even Satan! Jesus just knows Satan won’t get right, but if Satan chose to get right, Jesus would forgive him. I see past her rage, her murders, her fires, her stabbings and see a desperate woman who knows deep down inside she can’t win in her battle against God. Because I have such a reach, Satan is totally obsessed with me.
If not for Jesus, Satan would have destroyed me by now. He has the whole Jesuit Order on me 24/7. I guess winning his Antichrists to Jesus has really upset him. Ha ha ha. Satan, what a loser! I may laugh at him, but he’s a formidable adversary. It hasn’t been a picnic dealing with him and his Jesuit Order! Satan’s trying to bring the tribulation on early and I keep messing it up for him, cuz I keep converting the Antichrists to Jesus. It’s no wonder Jesus calls me His favorite. Jesus will give me his semen in the millennium. Both Brent Spiner my husband and I will get it and it appears the honor is reserved just for us. Brent is as forgiving as I am. We can both forgive ANYBODY in a second, if they get right with God.
You might say, how can you find it in your heart to understand and forgive these horrible monsters? I think I’m just a very humble and forgiving person and a very big person. I’m thrilled when anyone finds Jesus, no matter WHAT THEY ARE LIKE. I mean Jesus didn’t die on the cross for perfect people. I’m famous for forgiving people who’ve tried to kill me over and over. I’m a lot like my ancestor King David. David was the same way.
Hell, I could even forgive Satan, if he got right. He’s just a miserable fallen angel, who got a little too high for his britches. You might say, what would be your strategy for winning Satan? My Mensa emotional IQ has determined that Satan would NEVER respect anything ANY human has to say, cuz he thinks the human race is a bunch of retards, cuz he successfully duped them in the Garden of Eden. He just gets people to follow him to help him overthrow God, he hopes. His only cure might be at least a million years in the Lake of Fire. He had millions of year with God before he rebelled, so because his rebellion didn’t happen overnight, he won’t come to God overnight, if he ever does. Jesus says he was the most beautiful and intelligent of all the angels and it got to his head.
Satan’s sins are pride and ingratitude and he has success with those who have his vices, cuz he knows how to manipulate them.
I personally think God wanted to make a go of it with Satan, cuz he enjoyed dealing with someone whose intelligence was close to His, but realized he had to create a less intelligent being to get a more successful following and that’s why he created humans.
I may be the ONLY human Satan has a teeny bit of respect for, which means he’s AFTER ME. Fortunately, Jesus protects me. Satan showed up in one of our church services and he was obsessed with ME. Satan insisted on talking to me and I just kept asking Jesus to show up and rescue me and prayed about Satan to Jesus while reading the Bible out loud very loud and fast. Jesus had to show up to rescue us and Jesus has been rescuing us ever since. https://gabriellechana.blog/2018/05/09/jesus-beats-up-satan-in-church-service-2-14-12/
Satan’s obsessed with me. It’s no fun! I laugh about Satan, but he’s a formidable adversary and it’s no fun that he’s obsessed with me 24/7. If I wasn’t such a stickler about obeying Jesus, I’d be a GONER. I taped that church service, but Jesus told me not to let the world hear Satan’s voice, because he could use his voice to seduce people. Jesus did ask me to tell the world what happened. It’s in my Bible for Tribulation Saints. Satan is gay and has a gay sounding voice.
Jesus has talked to us a lot since my last entry in Bible for Tribulation Saints, but most of it is stuff he doesn’t want us to tell everybody. I look at it this way, even the disciples when they wrote about Jesus admitted they didn’t write EVERYTHING HE SAID TO THEM. Read the last verses of John.
My men have been to heaven and back and made promises to Jesus not to tell anyone certain things. Jesus reveals his secrets to us and some of it he wants to go public and some he wants kept secret for now. I personally believe my Bible for Tribulation Saints is an addition to the canon and is the little book of Revelation 10, that is now made public through my Bible for Tribulation Saints. But I can truthfully say that the Bible is all the books from Genesis to Revelation and my Bible for Tribulation Saints is an extension of Revelation 10 and what an extension that is! So I guess you can say my Bible for Tribulation Saints is part of the canon of the 66 books, but is an expansion of the book of Revelation.
You might say, what?! You think you’re an apostle? Actually, Jesus has compared me to the prophet Ezekiel, to the Apostle Paul and, of course, to my ancestor King David and they are ALL BIBLE WRITERS. If you’re jealous, I can tell you what I do is NOT FOR THE FAINTHEARTED. I have a very challenging life. The average person in my shoes would be DEAD or INSANE. I’ve given up complaining about my hard life and instead focus on my blessings and take it one day at a time.
I have a wonderful husband and lots of love in my life. To equip me for my challenging life, I have a Gail Shield and lightning bolt powers that I can use on the Antichrist. Jesus has also endowed me with Mensa IQ and I have the highest emotional IQ of anyone on the planet. When I did complain about my hard life once, Jesus told me to quit whining and that I was getting off my path and was capable of doing far more than I was doing at the time. Jesus often tells me what my future will be if I disobey him and I decide to get back on my path then. There’s a part of me that just wants to be an ordinary person, but I know that’s not my path and I better stick to what Jesus wants for me. Jesus richly rewards those who obey Him. He’s good and wise. Us dumb humans better listen to him. I will say this, when I do my best and really try to stay on my path and I feel like I’m up against a wall and pray about it, Jesus sometimes answers with a miraculous answer to prayer. You just have to trust Him, even when it makes no sense at times. He always works it out.
I include the parts of my handwritten diary that I wrote August 8, 2002 when I first figured out that the Jesuit Order COULD READ MY MIND. This is a supplement to my daily blog video for Oct. 29, 2020 where I mentioned how I figured out the Jesuits could read minds. Those who support me for ten dollars a month or more get access to my daily blog videos at my Patreon. Click on the link below to read my diary excerpt (written in August 2002) when I figured it out. I couldn’t afford a computer in 2002 and didn’t get a computer until my stepdad (deceased) gave me one in 2003.