4-6-05 Bemerkungen über 1-18-02 Tatbestand
In order to show that the International government promotes healthy marriages and families, IBN will have a special called THE HEALTHY FAMILY ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE. Have an approach to this subject according to the principles which I outline below, and make sure that the comments which I make below are analyzed by 666-Computer lie-detection and emotional analysis on IBN–to show whether I have told the truth and whether this is how I really feel. If questioning of others must be brought in to verify (or support or disprove) any of the comments made below, their response to the questions will also be analyzed by 666-Computer lie-detection and emotional analysis on IBN:
A big problem which Vladimir and I have encountered during our courtship has been Jesuit attempts to destroy our relationship by introducing intruders to cause problems. For the most part these attempts have failed because Vladimir and I have such a strong relationship that these intruders haven’t made a dent. Vladimir has attended concerts where the Jesuits put a physically attractive female next to him to tempt him to dishonor me, and Vladimir’s sperm has been stolen by Jesuits and used to impregnate a woman (2002 and 2003) through artificial insemination. It was because of incidents like this, that I decided laws need to be written against these things and that is why I started CONSPIRACY LAW in the summer of 2003 and I’ve been writing law ever since. They got the sperm by stealing it when he fantasized about making love to me while he was at a hotel in New York and they probably got it from other places. I am appalled at the gall of the Jesuit Order and their attitude about interfering in the private lives of people. I told Vladimir to be very careful not to leave his sperm anywhere where it could be stolen. It’s sick, but you have to think like this when you deal with Jesuits!! These people MUST BE STOPPED. THEY ARE MONSTERS.
These Jesuits have more nerve than anybody and are so intrusive and bold, they should all be executed. The way I handled this, when he told me about this, is I comforted him by making passionate and sensitive love to him (via 666-Computer). This really meant a lot to him because he felt really bad about it, but the way I handled it, made it easier for him and he was alright. We made that woman have an abortion (via 666-Computer). She was a willing conspirator with the Jesuits in the matter, so we made her have this abortion, and I have written laws to deal with this. They are my INTERNATIONAL REPRODUCTIVE LAWS. The Bible position about life is that it begins with the breath, not at conception. Vladimir and I don’t promote abortions however, but in this case an abortion was the best thing, because the sperm was used against Vladimir’s will and without his permission and he didn’t even know the woman. It is now a death penalty violation to be a willing and knowing participant in a conspiracy like this, because of my laws. Unfortunately, many of these pregnancies are making it to full term and there are a lot of babies out there created from stolen sperm and stolen eggs. When the babies make it to full term, our laws mandate they be put up for adoption. Jesuits are a bunch of sick heads. I really hate what the Jesuits have done to my relationships. I can’t tell you how much I hate the Jesuits. Vladimir and I have a really strong relationship. Our relationship has survived a lot of things that most relationships would not survive.
Usually the men that the Jesuits try to match me up with are so gross, I try to avoid them like the plague. But Jesuits are so crass, bold and intrusive–it is not always possible.
However, because of recent strategies which Vladimir and I have had to use–in which Vladimir has had to appear in public with publicity wives and, it appears, I may have to appear in public with a publicity husband–so we have had to play charades in order to protect lives.
But because of these charades which Vladimir and I are forced to play, we need to make some sort of statement that we respect the sanctity of marriage and don’t take lightly the vow of husband and wife to honor each other. Therefore, we will make a presentation called THE HEALTHY FAMILY ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE.
In this presentation THE HEALTHY FAMILY ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE we will present what is a healthy marriage and the proper role of the wife, husband and children in a healthy marriage. We will enlist the help of Dr. James Dobson, who has written excellent commentaries on this subject, especially in the matter of child rearing.
Vladimir and I take the Bible position on child rearing and we believe in spanking. However, all discipline should be done in love, not anger. I have raised my son the best I could according to the Biblical principles of child rearing and my son was spanked. I had a problem in that my ex-husband was not a consistent disciplinarian, but, it appears, that how I raised my son paid off, because my son saw a genuineness and consistency in me which he respected and he has turned out well–despite inconsistencies made by my ex-husband as I raised my son.
We will also go into how important it is for parents to be genuine in front of their children and to be shining examples of their faith. This counts as much as spanking, because the child will rebel against a hypocritical parent.
The relationship between the husband and wife is a bit more complex subject, due to Jesuit satellite/computer interference into marriages. Generally, when the husband/wife have a good relationship, this solves about 50% of child rearing problems, because children follow the examples of their parents.
Use principles from the book Sex, Love or Infatuation: How Can I Know the Difference? by Ray Short, since this book describes very well the true love relationship and we will combine this with solid Bible teaching on the subject of marriage.
I believe that the best way to ensure a happy marriage, though there are no guarantees because when you marry someone, it is an act of faith and only God knows how it will turn out and Jesuit ability to create UNWILLING AGENTS further complicates the matter–but first of all, you need to be the right person. More important than finding the right person is TO BE THE RIGHT PERSON. Some people should never marry, because they don’t have the maturity or the mindset needed for a successful marriage.
So, we will describe (according to established findings from psychology/sociology which are based on Biblical truth) the traits that are needed to be a good husband/wife. I believe it is very important to be mentally/emotionally healthy as a person before going into marriage. The Bible talks about mental/emotional health throughout the Bible. Where the Bible mentions this will be brought out by Dr. Peter Ruckman. Dr. Ruckman is currently in a very good marriage, though he has had his share of marriage problems, which should be an encouragement for those who come from a background of divorce. Generally, I have observed that personality traits that are bad for marriage are imbalances in the sexual area, emotional area or the money area.
So a person with good emotional health and who is ready for marriage is one who does not have sexual hang-ups, emotional hang-ups or money hang-ups. If one of the partners has a hang-up in any of these areas, that marriage is headed for trouble.
HEALTHY ATTITUDE TOWARD SEX: The husband and wife should view the sexual relationship between them as a beautiful expression of love and COMMITMENT and should see it as a sacred and beautiful expression of love for each other AND SHOULD ENJOY THEIR SEXUAL LIFE TO THE FULLEST. There should be no feelings of shame, disgust or dirtiness in the way a husband or wife feels about their lovemaking. If either partner sees the sexual act between husband and wife as anything other than a beautiful and passionate expression of love and commitment between the partners, then the marriage is headed for trouble. The Song of Solomon will be studied as an ideal example of a beautiful expression of love between a husband and wife. The goal of each partner in the bedroom should be to thrill and nurture his partner in bed and if there is love between them, this is generally the goal. Any other goal between the partners in the sexual area is bound to cause problems. One way to tell if a partner has hang-ups about sex is to see how he/she kisses you or handles you physically before the marriage. The physical approaches should be done with a feeling of sensitivity, caring, concern, warmth and commitment. Any sexual approach that is done with possessiveness, control, guilt or nervousness (nervousness indicates guilt and some sexual hang-ups), formality, coldness, sensuality over sensitivity/caring (this indicates lust as opposed to love), is a bad sign. It’s wonderful to be passionate and full of fire in the bedroom and the MEN LOVE THIS (and a lot of women like this as well), as long as the caring and sensitivity are there as well. In fact, we encourage an unabashed and fulfilling and passionate and exciting sexual relationship with your spouse!! Experiment with each other and learn what thrills your spouse and get good at it. ALL THE WORLD LOVES A LOVER. A THRILLING LOVE LIFE WILL MAKE EACH OF YOU STRONG TO FACE THE WORLD. We will have experts explain what is a healthy sexual approach between husband and wife. What’s ironic is that if your friendship is exciting and emotionally intimate, you will generally find your sexual relationship exciting, even if there are problems like male erectile dysfunction or lack of orgasms in the wife. You’ll find creative way to make your physical relationship match the feelings you have in your heart for each other.
HEALTHY ATTITUDE TOWARDS EMOTIONAL INTIMACY: This requires courage because it takes guts to completely open up your inner soul to another human being–but true love is impossible without this baring of one’s soul to another. The emotional relationship between husband/wife must be excellent. Probably the most important aspect of the emotional relationship should be the matter of trust and openness. Love involves tremendous trust and openness. Each partner should feel totally at ease with each other and should feel as comfortable with the other as if wearing an old pair of comfortable shoes. Neither should feel the need to have secrets from the other (including how one’s money is spent) or to withhold parts of his/her inner depths or personality from the other. Each should feel totally accepted by the other in his/her genuine state. A husband or wife should be the first person one would consult if one had a perplexing and overwhelming problem. It should be someone you would trust with your very life, if your life depended upon it. If this is not how you feel about your partner, you should not marry them.
HEALTHY ATTITUDE TOWARDS MONEY: You must view your partner as someone who is worthy of your investment in TIME AND MONEY, because true love GIVES. As times passes, each partner should feel that his/her partner is totally dependable as a best friend and as an emotional fortress and haven from the world. If you can’t trust your partner with money, then you don’t trust them and intimacy is impossible. Generally, what this means is that over time the trust you feel in the other grows and you learn that you can always count on your partner to “be there” for you during difficult times (unless the partner is ill or very occupied with an emergency). It is a danger sign when you are in deep distress (including financial distress) and your partner has a cold or apathetic attitude about it. Do not marry a person like this–this is bound to cause major marriage problems. A good relationship involves an investment of time, energy, money, emotional energy and this investment should be given joyously and out of love and concern for the welfare and growth of the partner–any other approach to the relationship is headed for disaster. BOTH PARTNERS NEED TO FEEL THIS WAY. If it is a one-sided relationship, find another partner who shares the same level of emotional commitment as you do towards the relationship. A one sided relationship does NOT WORK. IF ONLY ONE PARTNER IS GENEROUS, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP WON’T WORK. IF YOU ARE TRULY COMMITTED TO YOUR PARTNER, YOU WILL SACRIFICE FINANCIALLY FOR THEM IF THIS BECOMES NECESSARY. When life is tough and your partner becomes terminally ill with cancer or some debilitating illness, this will be the acid test of love–because true love will count the cost and will pay the price. To save the lover (if it is possible) will be more important than to save the pocketbook–any other attitude is not enough for a successful marriage.
Here are some sorry motives for having a relationship and the IBN special THE HEALTHY FAMILY ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE, we will give warning signs when these attitudes are present and will discourage persons with these attitudes from entering into marriage with these attitudes, and all these motives are tied to the emotions and are condemned in the Bible. Dr. Ruckman will go into this:
1) I’m bored and want some excitement. PROBLEM: THIS PERSON HAS SELFISHNESS AND SELF-CENTEREDNESS–THESE ARE BAD QUALITIES IN A MARRIAGE PARTNER. What this means is when this person’s partner becomes boring and familiar (which they will to some extent), they’ll look for someone else. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT A TRUE LOVE RELATIONSHIP IS BORING. IT JUST MEANS YOU BETTER CHOOSE SOMEONE WHO IS YOUR SOUL MATE AND BEST FRIEND AND NOT JUST AN EXCITING FLING. THIS ATTITUDE OF WANTING EXCITEMENT ALSO INDICATES THAT THE PERSON LACKS THE MATURITY NEEDED FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE, and that person better not marry anyone until he/she loses this approach toward relationships.
2) I want sex. PROBLEM: THIS PERSON HAS A WORSHIP OF PLEASURE OVER A COMMITMENT TO DUTY AND HONOR. –THIS INDICATES A LACK OF THE CHARACTER AND DISCIPLINE NEEDED FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE. A good sex life is only exciting for a couple years, after that you’ll want more than sex from your partner. ALL THOSE THRILLING ORGASMS WILL BECOME MUNDANE OVER TIME IF THAT IS ALL THERE IS AND IF THE RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT HAVE TRUE EMOTIONAL AND PERSONAL INTIMACY. IT WILL BE LIKE PLAYING THE SEXUAL ROLE IN A PLAY WITH NO REAL MEANING–This becomes boring after time.
3) I can use this person to help me advance in the world. PROBLEM: THIS PERSON IS SELFISH AND STINGY. THIS IS NOT AT ALL THE ATTITUDE NEEDED TO MARRY ANYBODY WITH ALL THE PROBLEMS IN THIS LIFE. THIS PERSON WILL NOT SACRIFICE FOR THE MARRIAGE WHEN IT IS NEEDED, BUT WILL TAKE THE EASY ROUTE AND THE PARTNER’S NEEDS WILL NOT BE MET. This indicates a selfish attitude, which never promotes a healthy and giving attitude needed for a successful relationship. BESIDES ONCE THIS PERSON’S PARTNER PICKS UP ON THIS ATTITUDE, THERE WILL BE RESENTMENT AND THE RELATIONSHIP WILL FAIL.
4) You’re very handsome or beautiful and I like to look at you and maybe I want to go to bed with you. PROBLEM: THIS PERSON IS PROUD AND SHALLOW. THOSE WITH THIS APPROACH LACK AN APPRECIATION OF LIFE’S TRUE VALUES WHICH ARE NECESSARY FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE. After marriage, you’ll see your partner pick his/her nose possibly, see them throw up or have diarrhea, hear them snore in bed, smell bad breath or smelly feet (it’s bound to happen sometime), you’ll see your wife without make-up and you’ll see your husband when he hasn’t had time to clean himself up and has food all over his teeth. Looks may not matter so much after this. Once this happens, what they look like, won’t seem as important as whether or not they are your best friend and confidante. You’ll put up with these things in a best friend and soul mate, but not in someone you married just for their looks. THIS DOES NOT MEAN I CONDONE A HUSBAND OR WIFE TOTALLY NEGLECTING THEMSELVES (if this is the case, then the partner is not investing into the relationship and does not have a giving attitude), but you don’t want to have a marriage based primarily on physical attractiveness.
5) You’ve got money and I will have a comfortable and easy life with you. PROBLEM: THIS PERSON IS LAZY, PROUD, SHALLOW, SELF-CENTERED, SELFISH. THIS PERSON HAS THE COMPLETELY WRONG PERSPECTIVE ABOUT LIFE AND WILL NEVER FIND HAPPINESS (BECAUSE THOSE WHO WORSHIP MONEY ARE THE MOST MISERABLE OF ALL PEOPLE BECAUSE MONEY DOES NOT BRING HAPPINESS) AND THIS PERSON WILL BLAME ALL HIS MISERIES ON OTHERS, INCLUDING HIS MARRIAGE PARTNER. ONE WITH THIS ATTITUDE IS A DISASTER AS A MARRIAGE PARTNER.. This indicates a selfish attitude, which never promotes a healthy and giving attitude needed for a successful relationship. BESIDES ONCE THIS PERSON’S PARTNER PICKS UP ON HIS/HER ATTITUDE, THERE WILL BE RESENTMENT AND THE RELATIONSHIP WILL FAIL. BESIDES, RICHES ARE FLEETING AND HOW WILL YOU FEEL TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER WHEN HE/SHE LOSES HIS/HERWEALTH BECAUSE HE/SHE IS HOSPITALIZED OR BECOMES GRAVELY ILL OR DECIDES TO GIVE ALL OR MOST OF HIS/HER MONEY TO CHARITY??
6) You are famous and I want to be famous. PROBLEM: THIS PERSON HAS EXTREME SHALLOWNESS, LACK OF WISDOM AND DEPTH, HAS STUPIDITY AND FOOLISHNESS, AND IS PROBABLY A WISHY-WASHY PERSON WHO IS INCAPABLE OF A SERIOUS COMMITMENT TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. This person also needs to check into the nearest mental hospital. Fame and fortune are one of the worst things that can happen to any relationship. You have no privacy, everyone gets into your business and you’re targeted by all the crazy and wacko people in the world. Also, everyone wants to sue you or harass you to get your money or be a part of your fame. A lot of people have the crazy idea that fame means success and they think they’ll be happy when they have what you have and so they never leave you alone. All the sickos of the world are attracted to you. Only a very strong and unusual relationship can survive fame and fortune. THE PLUS SIDE TO FAME IS THAT YOU ARE KNOWN and you have more people to choose from as a potential marriage partner, but there are a lot of negatives and only a very strong person and relationship can survive fame or fortune unscathed. Vladimir and I have a relationship this strong, but it is because of fame and fortune that Vladimir and I are still not together. My problem is I’m related to Howard Hughes. Vladimir’s problem is he is the President of Russia. This has been a real heartache for Vladimir and myself, but we console each other through our very intimate 666-Computer communications.
Good reasons to marry someone. What’s ironic about the following traits is that they come to those people who go into a relationship based on loving someone for WHO THEY ARE, not on what they can DO FOR YOU. YOU USUALLY FIND LOVE WHEN YOU AREN’T LOOKING FOR IT. Don’t look for love, look for opportunities to minister TO YOUR LOVER AS TO ONE YOU GREATLY ADMIRE and LOVE WILL COME TO YOU. LOVE COMES WHEN YOU AREN’T LOOKING FOR IT, and it comes WHEN YOU’RE OBSESSED WITH THE GREATNESS YOU SEE IN ANOTHER. The IBN special THE HEALTHY FAMILY ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE will delve into these and show examples and will encourage relationships that honor the following good reasons to marry a person:
1) We have an exciting and intimate friendship (with emotional intimacy), which inspires us to be the best we can be and inspires us to reach for the stars and to contribute to the welfare of mankind. We can share all our mind, all our dreams, all our goals with each other and my partner is my best friend and cheerleader and inspires me to use all my talent and harness all my energies for worthy goals for the betterment of humanity.
ASSETS: This lover probably is a generous and giving person with a genuine concern for the welfare of others. An unselfish and giving person is always a good choice for a marriage partner.
2) I like my partner’s mind and how he/she thinks and feels about things and I like who he/she is as a person and genuinely enjoy and respect his/her company.
ASSETS: This lover has an appreciation for true beauty of the soul, which is always an asset in a marriage partner. This lover will love you after you lose your looks.
3) I think your personality is attractive and the expression of your face and the glow of your eyes is attractive and your soul and spirit is attractive. I like your approach to life and your approach to our relationship. When a lover finds these things attractive, then the partner seems attractive, even when they are not physically attractive–though they could be physically attractive. It’s important to find your lover attractive (though others don’t have to agree with your assessment), because this makes the love life exciting.
ASSETS: This lover loves you as you are, so you can relax and be yourself and won’t always have to “measure up” to his/her expectations. Very important, this relationship is probably emotionally healthy.
4) The more I get to know you, the more I like you and the less I have to worry about. You are my dependable and absolute best friend and one I can count on to “be there” at all times.
ASSETS: This is a sign of trust and closeness. These lovers won’t waste too much time arguing with each other over jealousies and stupid things, they will be able to concentrate on life’s true values and enjoy a relationship that has the emphasis in what really counts–giving and sharing to joyously serve and love each other.
5) We share similar goals and passions and would both die for the same things. This is very important and indicates that the lovers have enough in common in the areas of religion, spirituality and values to succeed as a couple.
ASSETS: This is someone you can be a great team player with and you two together would probably make an unbeatable team. Partners that are team players are great for marriage. You won’t compete with each other, you will work as a team and overlook minor differences in each other for the sake of the goals which you both believe in–great for marriage. You’ll both be too busy working together on your mutual dream to nit-pick at each other–VERY HEALTHY.
6) I like how you express yourself to me with your kisses, your embraces and your touches. It is full of caring, concern and intimacy and I find your touches and approaches exciting and meaningful and a balm and comfort and serenity in this life, and feel truly valued and cherished when you make love to me and I enjoy making you feel valued and cherished when I make love to you. This is very important and indicates that the love life will be fulfilling and meaningful. A fulfilling and meaningful love life will help the relationship to withstand a lot of stress, since a love life like this will make one want to fight to preserve the relationship. It will make one emotionally tough against life’s challenges.
ASSET: These lovers will have an exciting and fulfilling love life, which will make them tougher against life’s challenges and their health will be better and the relationship will be good for their emotional, mental and physical health. This relationship will make them tough against the stresses of life, because the more solid one’s love life is, the tougher one will be–because a fulfilling and exciting and passionate and fulfilling physical relationship (which is part of an emotionally intimate relationship) gives one a toughness in the face of great danger. This lover will make you STRONG AGAINST THE CALAMITIES OF LIFE. THIS IS A GREAT ASSET IN A MARRIAGE PARTNER.
7) I think my lover is an outstanding person with personality and character traits that I admire, and he/she is overall a person I have great respect and admiration for and I have the highest regard for his/her character, motives and goals in life. I like how he/she spends his/her time, I like what he/she does in his/her spare time, I like how he/she organizes his/her life. Mutual respect is of utmost importance. Never marry anyone who delights in criticizing you or in making fun of you all the time. Though a sense of humor is a good thing, it is not– if the humor is always at the expense of your worth as a person and makes you feel degraded and unworthy. A lover should be very proud of his/her partner as a person and have the greatest respect and admiration for his/her partner.
ASSET: The positive respect and admiration this lover gets from his/her partner will give him/her the confidence to attempt the impossible and to attempt challenging goals without fear of ridicule. This lover will reach for higher goals and may reach them and this lover will inspire him/her to use all his/her talent, all his/her brain and all his/her energies. This will be very positive, not only for the lover, but for the world.
8) I feel totally accepted and valued in my lover’s company and feel that he/she accepts me just as I am and that he/she values my personality, my goals and my person AS I REALLY AM AND NOT AS I APPEAR TO BE or AS I WISH I WAS and that we have achieved a true “oneness” in purpose and goals and that we have a genuine high regard and respect for each other in our GENUINE STATES, in which we are totally open and ourselves with each other and that this trust and openness is reflected in all aspects of our relationship. We tend to agree to disagree and have learned constructive way to manage disagreements because we have invested so much in our relationship and have such a high regard for each other AS WE REALLY ARE, that we find positive and constructive ways to work out differences and never make the other feel undervalued or trashy as a person.
ASSET: This lover will learn to accept oneself as he/she is and to use his/her own talents to the maximum. He/she will discover who he/she really is and won’t waste his/her time in ventures better suited for other people. This lover will nurture and grow his/her own God-given talents and won’t waste his/her time wishing he/she was somebody else. In this respect, the lover has done you a great favor, because she/he has helped you learn to accept your strengths and weaknesses and to work with that, instead of trying to become a person you could never be. You are more likely to stick with your plans, since they are the plans best suited for your personality and your partner will inspire you to be true to your own personality.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: You should love this person so much, that you would be willing to turn them over or lose them to another, if you felt they would be better off or happier with the other person. And both parties to the relationship should feel this way. If you have two partners that feel this way about each other, you have an unbeatable relationship and a solid foundation for marriage. As you can see, only generous and unselfish people would feel this way, so as I said in the beginning, it matters more WHO YOU ARE than WHO YOU GET.
ASSET: A LOVE LIKE THIS, WILL GIVE YOU MONUMENTAL COURAGE AND MAY EVEN MAKE YOU HEROIC AND DEFIANT OF DEATH. YOU MAY END UP BECOMING A VERY INFLUENTIAL PERSON, WHO HAS GREAT INFLUENCE ON THOSE AROUND YOU.
If the above qualities are present in a relationship, there are generally no jealousy problems and the other problems tend to work themselves out. So, if the above are there, then everything else tends to work itself out.
There are 3 scriptural grounds for divorce and possible remarriage: Desertion, adultery and death. The IBN special will go into this. DESERTION is hard to define and I think God leaves some room in this area. There is such a thing as emotional desertion, financial desertion. But basically when one partner no longer has his/her financial/emotional/physical needs met in the marriage because the other partner has totally neglected the marriage–to me, that partner has been deserted by his/her marriage partner.
You might say, what should one do if his/her partner has deserted him/her? If he/she has not divorced that partner, he/she should make that desertion into a legal divorce, so that he/she can be free to find another marriage partner or to be single. But if he/she desires to remain with his/her partner, he/she should remain as long as the relationship is not dangerous or a threat to life and health. BOREDOM IS NOT A GOOD REASON TO DIVORCE ONE’S PARTNER. DESERTION IS A REASON TO DIVORCE ONE’S PARTNER.
You might say, what if I fall in love with someone else and I’m married to someone who has deserted me? Maintain a friendship with that special person, but have no sex with that special person until you have legally divorced the partner who deserted you. Once sex gets into the picture and you are sexually involved with someone who is not your spouse (and you are still legally married to your spouse who has deserted you), you create a very complicated situation. You should only have sex with someone you are committed to in a marriage relationship–and marriage is defined as flesh with flesh (it is not always a legal marriage). This is a complicated area, but sex should be reserved for your spouse (as a spouse is defined in the Bible).
Also, it is generally not a good idea to be “looking” for a romantic relationship or a sexual relationship or to try to impress your partner (JUST BE YOURSELF) and it’s especially a bad idea to have the mindset that once you find the right person, you’ll find happiness. If you aren’t happy right now, more than likely you won’t be happy when you think you’ve found the right person because your motivation for going into a relationship is to make yourself happy and no human being can meet all your needs.
Find a way to have inner happiness that is not very dependent on others and then ATTEMPT TO FIND ROMANCE. When you already have inner happiness, your goal for going into a relationship is to nurture, protect and further the growth of this awesome person that you love and greatly respect, and this is the best mindset to have in any healthy relationship. You want that wonderful person to share the satisfaction and happiness which you’ve found. So, rather than going into a relationship with the mindset of getting what you need to make yourself happy, you go in wanting to have THE JOY OF GIVING TO AN OUTSTANDING and AWESOME PERSON YOU GREATLY ADMIRE. You have THE MINDSET OF WANTING TO NURTURE AND CARE FOR a human being that you feel has great potential, simply because you greatly admire who this person is as a person and you want to encourage them to grow and evolve and find joy as a person. Go in as a GIVER and NURTURER, and not as a TAKER.
TO GO INTO ANY RELATIONSHIP, THINKING THAT RELATIONSHIP WILL BRING YOU THE PERSONAL HAPPINESS WHICH YOU DON’T HAVE, is absolutely the wrong approach to a healthy relationship. Go into a relationship with the attitude of the JOY OF GIVING to a person you love because of WHO THEY ARE, rather then the ATTITUDE THAT THIS PERSON WILL BRING ME HAPPINESS which I currently don’t have.
If you aren’t already a happy person and haven’t found the joy of an inner happiness that comes from living a worthy life or from an intimacy with God, you are not ready for a healthy relationship with ANYBODY.
Rather, concentrate on being totally yourself and on being very open with your potential mate and see how he/she reacts to your genuine personality and how he/she reacts to your genuine goals and directions in life. Rather, strive for a giving and generous “friendship” first and see if this evolves into a romantic relationship, but learn to be satisfied with the friendship alone first and be content, even if it won’t evolve into romance. This is the healthiest and best way to start a romance. Don’t go looking for a sexual relationship or romance to meet your needs– rather look for a big friendship based on trust, great mutual admiration, and emotional intimacy and strive for a very intimate friendship–JUST FOR THE SAKE OF FRIENDSHIP and desire friendship with this person because you admire and enjoy who this person is AS A PERSON and not because of what you think they can do for you–since this type of friendship is the most solid basis for a healthy and long lasting sexual and intimate relationship.
Reserve your sexual feelings for your fantasies until you are certain that your feelings for this person are solid and long-lasting.
Don’t have sex with that person until you know for sure that your relationship is a solid friendship with trust and openness and giving between yourselves. IBN, in its special THE HEALTHY FAMILY ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE, will condemn lightly entering into a sexual relationship with a person and will encourage intimate and close and trusting friendships first and foremost which leads to healthy and long-lasting sexual/friendship husband/wife relationships.
Also, if you find this person so attractive that you desire sex with them, harness that energy into your fantasies (don’t have hang-ups about your sexual feelings for this person and don’t make a big deal over it) and just enjoy a friendship with your special someone and see how the relationship grows before you become physically involved with them. Analyze your sexual feelings and make sure they are based on trust, openness and intimacy and out of an evolving and growing emotional, spiritual and/or intellectual intimacy between you and this special someone. But if you are already involved in a sexual relationship with this person, it’s pretty hard to analyze your feelings when you’re already in an emotional and physically passionate relationship. Don’t lose your head over SEX and don’t have hang-ups about your sexual feelings–just relax and float with your feelings–enjoy them –but don’t let them overwhelm you–accept them without guilt and harness that sexual energy into a fulfilling and intimate friendship–this is one big reason American marriages fail.
If you feel guilty about your sexual feelings for this person, then the sex you don’t have with this person will seem like forbidden fruit. Forbidden fruit tends to be attractive. Find “safe” ways to express your sexual feelings toward this person–WITHOUT THE SEX and consider your sexual feelings an awesome expression of commitment and love–not as something dirty, to be ashamed of. There should be some sexual expression (or else you will have an explosion or the relationship is too frigid and that’s not good either), just don’t have intercourse and don’t get carried away with petting–transform the sexual feelings into things like love letters, poetry, sharing of thoughts and feelings and intimate (but not sensual) caresses. If you get all obsessed over the sex you can’t have with this person, you are denying your sexual feelings toward this person and will invite an explosion where you will dive into the forbidden fruit, as soon as the opportunity arises.
Better to acknowledge your sexual feelings and enjoy them, float with them, express them (but not through actual sexual intercourse). Total denial of your sexual feelings toward this person will make it more likely that you will be sexually involved with this person before you have a chance to develop an emotional and personal intimacy with this person–BECAUSE FORBIDDEN FRUIT IS TOO ATTRACTIVE TO RESIST. Don’t see future sex with (or your sexual feelings toward) this person as forbidden fruit or as something dirty or as hanky panky– rather see it as a beautiful expression of the deep love, commitment and closeness you feel towards this person and then you will more likely wait for the best and will wait for emotional and personal intimacy to develop first, before you start a sexual relationship with your special someone. Better to accept your sexual feelings for this person without hang-ups and find a way to express it without guilt (and NO SEX) and save the best (the thrilling consummation of minds, emotions, and bodies–the actual awesome sexual intimacy) for later. Sex with total intimacy is so thrilling that it is worth the wait to allow the relationship to become intimate in all areas (emotions, soul, intellect, etc.). You want more than a joining of bodies, you want a joining of minds, souls, dreams, thoughts–once you experience this, you won’t feel cheated at all for the wait and will be happy to dream about the consummation (rather than to have it before the fruit is ripe) If this is your true soulmate, then when you have physical intimacy with this person, it will be very special and wondrous and worth the patience.
You may say guys don’t care about sex with total intimacy–that all they want is sex. That is not true, if the man is not shallow he wants his physical relationship to be intimate and will definitely know the difference between a woman who manipulates him in the bedroom as opposed to the woman who loves and totally adores him in bed. To know that the woman who loves you thinks you are a hero and makes love to you like you are the most manly and heroic man in the universe means everything to a man–this gives him courage to face the calamities of life–it gives him steel. You may say, this is how you feel about Vladimir? Absolutely. When I imagine making love to him, I feel like I’m making love to a great and big person and a hero and I want my lovemaking to encourage him to be an even bigger and better man. I love him like he’s my biggest hero. I never make fun of his manliness, because I’d never marry a man that I didn’t respect and I can’t respect a wimp. He’s my hero. Vladimir is my courageous pioneer and I am so proud of him for his courage and tell him all the time. My favorite term of endearment to him is: “My brave Vladimir”. If you don’t think he’s manly and great, then don’t marry him, because you won’t be able to honor the Bible admonition to wives to reverence your husband. You must respect the man you marry. A man needs respect as much as a woman needs love.
Advice to women: Don’t ever marry a man if you don’t think he’s a hero and a great man. This doesn’t mean you are infatuated with him, but you must think he is a great man and your faith in him will cause him to grow as a man. If the whole world thinks he’s a wimp, you better not think so–he needs you to believe in him when the world calls him every name in the book. You could be his salvation. You will be a saint. Someone in the world has to be his cheerleader and God ordained it to be the man’s WIFE. IF YOU LOVE HIM, YOU WILL BUILD HIM UP AS A MAN, BECAUSE HIS VERY HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON IT. He may not think he’s a hero, but if you believe in him and have faith in him, he will try to be the hero you think he is because he loves and respects you so much and you will be very good for him. If you don’t respect the man–DON’T MARRY HIM, because men become very bitter when their wives don’t respect them and he won’t love you if you don’t respect him. It’s the way God made a man. That’s why the Bible commands women to REVERENCE their husbands. And God commands the husband to love his wife. So, the man must love and cherish his woman and the woman must reverence her man. This is the Bible teaching about marriage.
That is why they say that behind every great man is a great woman. Also, if you don’t think he’s your hero, it’s pretty hard to fake it in the bedroom. This doesn’t mean you see him as perfect. And if you can both laugh at your own faults–this is very good. However, beware of a partner who only laughs at the faults of others and can’t laugh about his own. A sense of humor about your own faults is a plus. You realize he has faults, but you see so much to be admired, that you focus on his strengths and praise him for these and this causes him to grow as a man. If you must point out his weaknesses, you do it with the attitude that you totally accept him as he is, faults and all, and you are not trying to change him (because you are dissatisfied with him or because you want to make your life easier), you only want to help him to grow and you layer any criticism with tons of praise–because love always sees the greatness in the lover and you always believe in him, even when he falls flat on his face. Notice what is manly about him and encourage him to continue those positive traits which you admire. When he sins or does things contrary to what you believe is his true character, you can be disappointed, but always believe that he will somehow emerge triumphant as a man. If you don’t really feel this way about him, don’t marry him. If you think he’s stupid, don’t marry him. If you think he’s a weakling, don’t marry him. If you think you’re smarter than he is in everything, don’t marry him. Because you don’t respect him and the marriage won’t work. A man needs respect from his wife (as much as a woman needs love from her man) or the marriage is headed towards divorce courts or to misery. When you believe in him, you give him the confidence to be the man he wishes he was. He’ll be able to tell how you really feel about him, when you make love to him. YOU CAN’T FAKE IT IN THE BEDROOM, SO IF YOU DON’T THINK HE’S A HERO, THEN DON’T MARRY HIM–THE MARRIAGE WON’T WORK. A man needs a woman to complete him, like a car needs a spark plug and the best way to complete a man is to love him like he’s your hero. Once the man experiences this, a whore won’t seem attractive to him AT ALL–not if he has an ounce of decency in him.
When you love and appreciate the greatness in him, then he will notice the greatness in you and this will make your love life dynamite. There will be crescendos and passions in the lovemaking and you will be the lovers of the ages. And this is how my relationship with Vladimir has survived so damage (brought on by the Jesuits), because our love life is dynamite. We see too much greatness in each other, which is reflected in how we make love to each other in our fantasies–that it seems only death could break the bond. And this is a healthy marriage according to the Bible (see the Song of Solomon)–where is love is described as STRONG AS DEATH. When you see how your love has made him grow as a man, it will be very satisfying and you will feel like God smiles on you, because a woman’s greatest gift is to encourage her man to grow as a man and to inspire him to be a great man.
In return, when you make him feel like a man, then he will love you with passion, sensitivity and depth of feeling and you will be cherished as his most important soulmate and encourager. To be great lovers, you both have to be great people and you must let your love flow out to nurture all those around you. That’s why I emphasize that it matters more WHO YOU ARE than who you marry. To have a great marriage, you need two great people who have found each other.
Women, make sure the man loves and adores you. Don’t marry a man just to be his encourager, if he doesn’t appreciate and love your efforts and pay you back with devotion in his heart to you. Some men are very selfish–they want the woman to respect them, even for traits they don’t have. If a woman loves a man, she will nurture him and encourage him to grow as a man. If a man loves a woman, he will make her feel protected, cared and nurtured. A man should never marry a woman who does not respect him. And a woman should never marry a man she does not reverence. A man should never marry a woman that he wouldn’t nurture and cherish as his own flesh. And a woman should never marry a man who is callous towards her when she is in genuine pain (emotional or physical). Both sides need to be absolutely devoted to each other, in order to have a healthy marriage.
FRIENDSHIP must EVOLVE INTO EMOTIONAL INTIMACY FIRST–HAVE SEX LATER, when you are both committed to each other for life.
DON’T DRINK ALCOHOL or TAKE DRUGS. THIS WILL CAUSE YOU TO LOSE YOUR HEAD AND MAKE STUPID MISTAKES IN RELATIONSHIPS. IBN will condemn alcoholic beverages and drug addictions as a sure way to destroy ANY relationship. Use wine for COOKING only. Also, if you drink, this is a good way for your enemies to dope you out and get you to go to bed with the WRONG PERSON, and will you be in trouble after this! Ask Brent Spiner.
To satisfy your desire for sex with this person, you can express your sexual feelings in other ways–love letters, poetry, cards, flowers, slight and intimate caresses, hand holding, intimate– but not SENSUAL kisses, etc.–AND AFTER THIS, CHANNEL YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY INTO YOUR FANTASIES. If you can’t control yourself, distance yourself from this person and maintain the relationship long distance ONLY–MAKE LOVE OVER THE PHONE OR THROUGH CORRESPONDENCE INSTEAD. Relax and enjoy your friendship with that person, accept your sexual feelings without guilt and harness that sexual energy into emotional energy to invest in your special someone, but don’t have sex with that person until you know for sure that this is one you want to commit to as your best and closest friend for the rest of your life.
You might say, you sure didn’t give Vladimir time for this intimate friendship which you claim you encourage FIRST BEFORE ROMANCE, when you introduced yourself to Vladimir Putin with the statement: “I’m going to marry the Russian President,” in Sept. 2001. I mean you didn’t know if the guy was even married when you said this.
Well, I have a genius ability to read people and when I saw how Vladimir introduced himself to me and the timing of his introduction, I inferred that he was unmarried. I also saw so many outstanding personality traits in this man from my initial “gut” assessment of him, that I knew I admired this man enough as a person for a healthy marriage. Which means I’m a genius in sizing up a person, because he came from a communist KJB background and yet I saw that in his soul, he was a truly great and generous person. I saw past his background and saw his soul. Once I look in a person’s eyes and see the expression of their countenance, I can size a person up in five minutes and I get a pretty good general assessment of the person’s major personality traits.
If I had relied on my “guts” instead of what everyone around me said about David Schuler, I never would have married David Schuler. My initial assessment of David was that he was shallow. I was right on target.
My initial assessment of Vladimir Putin was that he was a courageous, heroic pioneer–who was flirting with me because he thought I was an admirable and outstanding woman. From the beginning– my relationship with Vladimir was an attraction based on WHO OUR LOVER IS AS A PERSON–which is the basis for a healthy relationship and not on what we felt the other could do for us. I knew that to be involved with Vladimir, I’d have to learn a new language, learn a new culture and make major adjustments, but I saw so much to be admired in this man, I was willing to pay the price to be his greatest soulmate and encourager. I was right on target about who he was as a person and about the basis of his attraction for me–which is that he also greatly admired who I was as a person. Our mutual admiration and respect for each other has inspired both of us to reach for the stars and, as a result, our relationship greatly benefits not only ourselves, but humanity. This is what true love does, it makes you a blessing not only to each other but TO THE WORLD, because true love inspires you to be a better and more generous person because you want your lover to be proud of you because of your great respect for them.
You might say, but you two don’t have enough in common. You come from two totally different countries. Aww, but that isn’t true. We are both Russian/German in blood and come from the SAME ROYAL RUSSIAN AND GERMAN FAMILIES, so we are genetically very similar in temperament and outlook. We may have been raised in 2 different countries, but we have compatible personalities, because we are descended from the same royal families!! Our personalities jive very well. We approach life the same, because our bloodlines have many similarities. Genetics play a strong role in personality. We have the same personalities (with slight differences) and that is one of the basics for a good marriage. We are both heroic and courageous pioneers and are both very passionate–it’s in our Russian/German royal genes–we respect each other because we approach life exactly the same. That is why we can both write and work on international law together, and agree on just about all aspects about how the law should be enforced and how it should be written and this is why Vladimir has made me his Vice President. Our genetics are so similar that we have quite a bit in common–our personalities are basically the same. We both hate and love the same things and are both passionate about the same things. Vladimir and I make a great team, because we are in agreement about just about everything! Our personalities are very, very similar. One of my biggest problems in the U.S. is that most American men don’t understand my passionate and artistic Russian temperament, so my most intimate and long lasting relationships have been with Russian men–i.e., Brent Spiner and Vladimir Putin.
You might say, but you have several back-up husbands in your LIVING WILL. First off, I’d like to say that the only man I’m committed to marry right now is Vladimir Putin and that the back-up husbands I would not marry until, and if, I developed the same intimate friendship with them as I have with Vladimir Putin. I have chosen these men as my alternate health care surrogates or “husbands”, BECAUSE VLADIMIR CHOSE THEM AND I TRUST ABSOLUTELY VLADIMIR’S CARE AND CONCERN FOR ME AND I FEEL HE IS BEST QUALIFIED TO DETERMINE WHICH MEN WOULD MAKE GOOD HUSBANDS FOR ME IF SOMETHING SHOULD HAPPEN TO VLADIMIR. VLADIMIR KNOWS ME BETTER THAN ANYONE and he knows best who would be a good husband for me, should something happen to him. The fact that I chose these other men as my alternate health care surrogates or “husbands”, shows the great trust I place in Vladimir Putin, since Vladimir chose these men as my alternate husbands and I completely trust Vladimir’s judgment in this matter.
XXX1/2–G.S. (4-6-05), (updates on 4-7-05 and 4-8-05).
AAAAAAA–G.S. (4-6-05), (updates on 4-7-05 and 4-8-05).
BBBBBBB–G.S. (4-6-05), (updates on 4-7-05 and 4-8-05).
CCCCCCC–G.S. (4-6-05), (updates on 4-7-05 and 4-8-05).
Electronically signed: Gail Chord Schuler
Date: 4-6-05 , (updates on 4-7-05 and 4-8-05).
Place: Melbourne, FL