(2013) GAIL SIGNED CONTRACT WITH ZACK KNIGHT, NOT TO HAVE SEX WITH ZACK, BUT TO OBEY JESUS TO SAVE THE HUMAN RACE

THIS IS A NEWS ARCHIVE.


If Gail had known what Zack Knight had embedded into the signature line, she would have demanded that the contract be rewritten to omit the stuff in the signature line.  When people sign contracts, they don’t expect microscopic wording embedded into the signature line as part of the contract.  Gail requests jury nullification in regard to this contract, because with the laws that we are forced to use in this matter, it is impossible to have a just verdict.  The video below shows Gail’s heart when she signed the contract.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A490zX4NL6I

After the GA1L android’s announcement in the video above, the GA1L android took over Church of Gail, hooking up Gail’s men to machines that painfully “milked” their penises for semen.  GA1L used hurricane Sandy’s winds to knock Brent and Vladimir at the helm of Church of Gail, out the shattered helm windows.  Terrance saw their bodies flailing into space and then saw Jesus Christ near them.  Terrance screamed that the GA1L android had entered Church of Gail and had taken control.  The android GA1L put Terrance into a compartment, painfully milking his semen.  As he groaned in terror, he got cut off.  Gail received this letter hours later.


(October 29, 2012)

My wonderful Gail,

I just wanted to let you know that both Vladimir and I are safe and well. We were both working frantically at the helm of Church of Gail when Hurricane “Sandy” struck. We had no seat belts, and when the wind, like an iron fist, burst through the windshield, we were both sucked violently out into the air.

We were miles above the sea, spinning and churning in the vat expanse of sky and rain. I thought we were goners for sure. Just then, something hit me. At first I thought it was a bird, but it was too big to be a bird. It took me a few moments to get my head together and realized that someone was carrying me. It was Jesus!

“Climb on my back homie,” he shouted. I did as he asked, sitting on top of the middle of his back with my legs straddling his sides. I held on as we swooped in and Jesus hooked Vladimir with one of his arms, and helped him up onto his back in front of me. Once we were both safe and secured, Jesus flew us out of the hurricane.

I don’t know where he took us, but we wound up on the top of a mountain. It was so high up, we were practically in the clouds.

“You know what’s cool guys?” he asked, “this mountain here is so remote, nobody on Earth knows where it is. Just me.”

I thought that was pretty interesting. I guess he’ll never tell me where it was. It was sure chilly up there. All I could think about was you, and wanting to let you know that I was safe. I knew that if Terrance saw me blow out the window, you must surely think I was dead by now! I wanted to be there to comfort my poor Gail.

“Jesus,” I said, “what happened here?”

“First of all, you two,” he said, “have a Coke. It’ll calm you down. I mean, it peps you up, but you know.” Two bottles appeared for us, and we did as he said, and started taking halfhearted sips of our sodas.

“GA1L will not destroy Church of Gail,” he said, “or the men, or you. She has big plans for all of that, you dig?”

I nodded, still confused, but waited for him to continue. “I dig.”

“On the other side of this mountain there’s a fighter jet for you and Vladimir. It’s been programmed to take you back to Church of Gail. There’s a laptop, too, so you can e-mail Gail to let her know you’re all in one piece. I want you to fly back to Church of Gail and try to rescue the men. I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry, I’d never give you a task too tough to handle.”

We all walked around to the side of the mountain like Jesus told us to, and found the fighter plane. Vladimir was very familiar with this type of aircraft, and was quick to claim the front seat. We began suiting up.

“Hey Brent, I have to tell you something pretty important. My dad is calling me back to heaven right now. I need to stay there until it’s time to act. Don’t worry, I’ll be back. Just don’t go sky diving out of any more windows. By the way, I have one more message for Gail. Tell her…in order to win this, she will have to make a temporary agreement she never would have considered. She will know what I mean when the time comes.

I nodded in understanding, “thank you Jesus, for everything.”

“Good luck man,” he smiled and patted me on the back, and we embraced, “I love you. No homo.”

“I love you too Jesus. No homo…”

“That’s the spirit!” He patted me again.

Vladimir ushered me into the fighter jet, and after buckling myself inside, I opened the laptop and began writing an e-mail. Once the plane was all ready to go, Vladimir took to the air, and Jesus waved to us as we took off. We’re on our way back to the church now. I will let you know what unfolds.

I adore you. Don’t you worry about us, my love. God is on our side.

Your husband,
Brent Spiner

Copyright © 2012 – 2018 Gail Chord Schuler.  All Rights Reserved.