(Gail at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) Dearest awesome Vladimir:
I just made lovely brain to brain loving with you, and now I read your courageous post. I do believe you should nuke the Vatican, but remove Pope Benedict and give him safe harbour before we nuke the Vatican. After we nuke the Vatican, the Jesuits will try to kill pope Benedict and make him appear a victim of the bombing, so we need to show him publicly on our International Broadcast News as one that we have spared from the bombing. Have pope Benedict make a public statement opposing the Jesuits and ordering that all Jesuits within the Roman Catholic Church be turned over to us for execution. After this, he will need our maximum protection. If he is killed, the Jesuits will replace him with a Jesuit pope, and that would be a disaster. Instruct pope Benedict to take Cardinals and others with him who oppose the Jesuits, if he can, and we shall offer them all safe harbour. If we destroy the Vatican we will not be able to destroy the Roman Catholic Church, but will only be able to make a statement that we oppose what they have done to our Church of Gail website. Because they threaten to say that I am one of them on their website, I feel it is necessary to nuke the Vatican. Do it quickly before they have a chance to flood the Vatican with children or babies to make martyrs out of them. They know that to make me one of them on their website, would be as bad as raping me.
(Vladimir Putin at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) Oh no! Jesuits have held the poop benedict hostage, and they also have him holding a black baby with a bomb strap to it. If he drop the baby or try to leave the vatican, the black baby explode. They want us to make them martyrs.
They are also making nude pictures of you all around the Vatican and are saying you are ugly. If you believe that we should nuke now, give the order in a youtube video. I will push the button.
(Gail at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) I have made a YouTube video to nuke the Vatican, but only after we spare pope Benedict. Unfortunately, we may not be able to spare the baby. Try to use transporter technology on the pope and the baby. Transport the pope to one location and the baby to another location. Use transporter technology to save pope Benedict, but not sure if we can save everybody. If transporter technology does not work, try sleeper bombs. We cannot nuke the Vatican if the pope is killed, we have to spare the pope. If the pope is spared, even if we cannot spare everyone else, go ahead. But try to spare as many innocents as we can. If we are unable to spare the innocents, retain evidence that Jesuits interfered with us and that they are the murderers, not us–that we are only nuking the Vatican as a statement of outrage over sawing off judge Terrance Jenkin’s leg.
(Brent Spiner at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) This is the gorgeous baby girl I’ve been telling you all about. I’ve named her Brianna, after my favorite character from Silver Skies. Matthew is playing with her in the hot tub right now! Isn’t she beautiful?
(Gerard Butler at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) The little lass has Gail’s eyes! I believe I be in love!
(Matthew McConaughey at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) She won’t stop giggling. She’s such a happy girl. Just seeing her beautiful face takes away all the fear and pain I’ve had during this trial. I hope she can stay with us. Her eyes blow me away. Catherine the Great, eat your heart out!
Whoops, I better put the phone down. She almost spilled my margarita into the hot tub again.
(Hugh Jackman at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) That is a damn fine baby if I ever saw one. What a jaw line on that beauty. She will grow up to be as beautiful as her mother.
(Judge Terrance Jenkins at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) OH MY. MY SEAMS ARE BURSTING WITH PRIDE RIGHT NOW. SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE MY DEAREST GRANNY THAT PASSED AWAY. SEND ME MORE PICTURES BRENT.
(Brent Spiner at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) Thank you everyone. We were going to paint the little nursery down the hall, but she’s just so precious we’re giving her the whole master bedroom. As soon as she falls asleep I’m going to rush out of here and raid every toy store I run into until my credit cards melt. I am so in love with her already. I think I will melt first.
(Vladimir Putin at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) A manly tear is not often shed. Today it sheds many. Beautiful cuteness child of Great Catherine, I fawn over.
(Hugh Jackman at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) Don’t be afraid to be a man and cry, Vlad. My vasopressin levels are through the roof right now too.
(Judge Terrance Jenkins at Church of Gail Website on 11-29-11) MY HORMONES ARE HIGH RIGHT NOW FOR REAL. YOU FELLAS DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND. MY NIPPLES ARE SO SENSITIVE. THIS MAKES GETTING MY LEG SAWED OFF WORTH IT. THOSE JESUITS CAN COME AT ME. HELL OR HIGH WATER I WILL PROTECT MY BABY GIRL.
(Gerard Butler at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) Aye, Judge Terrance. No Jesuits will be taking away this precious bundle here! I will protect her with my life.
(Gail at Church of Gail Website on 11-28-11) Is this the baby that was supposed to blow up next to Pope Benedict? She’s beautiful. Where’d this baby come from? Brent just talked with me brain to brain and tells me this is the baby that would have exploded next to the pope. Vladimir told me we saved the pope, but he said nothing to me about this baby. He said the pope had a bit of a time there for awhile and lost an arm, but that we saved his arm with transporter technology. What a beautiful baby. Looks like we won’t have to nuke the Vatican. As Vladimir has informed me that pope Benedict has some better ideas on how to deal with the Jesuits.
I believe Pope Benedict suggests we bomb some city underneath the Vatican, that is some sort of Jesuit headquarters and leave the part above ground intact. What do you think, Vladimir. Good idea? Sounds like pope Benedict is on our side and grateful we saved his life.
(Brent Spiner at Church of Gail on 11-28-11) My dear Gail, there have been some important new developments. I tried to tell you brain to brain, but I don’t think I was able to get through from space. I sent you an e-mail. I’m glad you are safe.
(Brent Spiner to Gail on 11-28-11) My dear wife,
Vladimir has asked me to write you in the aftermath of the nuclear attack on the Vatican that you summoned this afternoon via YouTube. The bombing was a success. It obliterated the age old building and Jesuit death tolls were enormous. However, I’m afraid our victory was far from clean.
While the Vatican has been vaporized, our attempt to save the pope and teleport the baby elsewhere has caused an unfortunate accident. The pope exploded. Our church tower, which was transported briefly into space for the protection of the men inside it during the bombing, received the transported bomb which proceeded to take out several decks. We’ve lost 90% of our life support and we have many wounded. I want you to know that myself and the other men are safe. We are piloting the tower back to earth as I write you.
In light of this awful tragedy, there is good news. The innocent baby was transported, naked, into a field where it was retrieved by rescue teams. What I have to tell you about this baby may be hard to swallow. I hope you are sitting down, because I nearly fainted! In an attempt to identify the little one’s parents and return it to their loving care, Vladimir’s nanotechnology teams discovered that this baby appears to belong to both you and Terrance Jenkins. Our scientists probed and prodded but to our surprise, she is not a clone of any kind, nor has she been artificially engineered. Research indicated that your eggs and his sperm were stolen and used to artificially impregnate Rule 13, who then carried and gave birth naturally to what appears to be a completely unaltered, natural baby girl.
We were of course not going to return your daughter to the Jesuits only to have them raise her into a monster. Who knows what plans they had in store. As soon as we reach Earth I will be taking your baby with me to Gerard’s house where she will be safe with the three of us while she recovers from her ordeal.
I can see Earth. It looks like we are about to land. I will write more when I can. Let us know that you are safe.
UPDATE: Gail’s men in spring 2014 bombed the server that hosted the Church of Gail Website (www.churchofgail.com) in order to take down the Jesuit website (www.crazygail.com) which was on the same server. Neither of these websites are up now.
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